Dear God, it had felt so real…fighting to keep her alive only to have her snatched away over and over again.I saved her though, I brought her back.I clung to her, rocking her in my arms.She was okay.She was going to be okay.
A chime rang out through the room, and I jolted.The fifth and final bottle appeared, hovering in front of me, glowing silver.I snarled, wanting to snatch it from the air and smash it against the wall.
The idea of pouring that poisonous fucking shit into her mouth made me sick to my stomach, but if I didn’t do it, she would die.I had no choice but to make her drink it.
Plucking it from the air, I pulled out the cork, then shaking like hell, I carefully poured it into her mouth, then tossed the bottle aside.
Ursula made a choking sound, gasping and swallowing it down, before her eyes snapped open.The green of her irises, already impossibly bright, were ringed with what looked like glowing twenty-four-carat gold.A physical manifestation of the poisons she’d taken.
“Silas?”she choked.
“That was the last one, Urs,” I said, brushing her hair back from her beautiful face.“It’s almost over.”
“D-don’t leave me,” she gasped not really looking at me, her hand lifting, reaching for something.“Please, Silas.Don’t go.”
Her voice was panicked.I cupped her face.“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Silas,” she said again, the fear ratcheted up.“Silas,” she screamed.
“Ursula!I’m right here.”I leaned over her, my face just above hers.“I’m here, my love.”
Her gaze became distant.She was looking beyond me now, as if she couldn’t see me, and tears streamed down her cheeks.Heartbreak, agony so raw it transformed her features and made her almost unrecognizable.
Something terrifying shifted through her eyes—utter and complete hopelessness.
Ursula stilled completely, and then I watched in abject horror as the life drained from her.
“No!”I shook her.“Ursula!Wake up.Fucking wake up.”Her bright green-and-gold eyes dulled, turning to a muted gray, and her skin turned ashen.
“Ursula!”I roared as she slipped away completely, lost to me forever.
My heart was a lead weight in my chest as I wrapped my arms around her, begging her to come back, to come back to me.I’d fucking killed her.I’d tried so hard to keep her alive, to save her, then I’d force-fed her that poison, and I’d killed her.
I wanted to go with her.I didn’t want to be here alone.I couldn’t live without her.
“Take me with you,” I begged.“Please, baby, take me with you.”
This wasn’t right.This couldn’t be happening.God, please, let me go with her.
This couldn’t be real.
This wasn’t real.I chanted it over and over in my head, as if saying it enough times would make it true.
This isn’t real.It’s not real.
It’s not real.
It’s…not real.
My heart smashed against my ribs.“It’s not real,” I snarled.
Everything rushed back.The tournament, the task we’d been sent on this morning.This nightmare had felt so real.I’d been lost in it.In the trickery, in the pain.
Your fears, whatever they may be, cannot kill you.Only giving in to that fear wholeheartedly will allow that to happen.Felditch’s words filled my mind.
I couldn’t give in to my fear, and neither could Ursula.For me, it was losing her.For Ursula, I could only assume, but from the things she’d said while I held her during the throes of her hallucinations, it seemed that her biggest fear, was being alone.
So I held her tight to me, letting her feel my body against hers, my heart beating against hers.“I’m right here, Urs.I haven’t left you.Fight it.It’s not real.You’re not alone, baby.I’ll never leave you alone.I promise.I’m here.You just have to open your eyes, you just have to come back to me and you’ll see.I promise you’ll see.”