Unfortunately, it’s too late for me, and I find myself, once again, at the squat rack with Jaden, Colin, Mack, and Noah being battered with questions. After the sixth one in a row where none of them even let me get a word in edgewise, I finally snap at Colin. “Don’t you have a wife to get home to?” I look at the rest of them. “Girlfriends?”
Jaden laughs. “Furthest from it.”
“Okay, not you.” I look back at Noah.
“Audrey and Chrissy are actually together today. Something about Chrissy needing a girls’ day.” His smile is like a cat struggling to keep hold of the canary it caught. “So, no. I don’t have anywhere to be. I have literally all day to stay here and lift weights with you guys. Now, stop deflecting our questions.”
They all came so fast I can’t even pick one out of my brainto answer. “Start over. Ask them again, slower this time. I can’t keep track when you all talk at once.”
“So we were right? You guys are sleeping together and now you’ve finally figured your shit out and are official?”
“Basically, yeah.”
It seems like everyone is about to start up again with more questions, but Colin takes charge, as he should. He’s our quarterback, after all. “No offense, dude, but when you first got here, it didn’t really look like you wanted to be here.” He pauses. “I don’t mean to play football, I mean with us.”
It was that obvious? I thought I kept a pretty good smile on my face even though it was damn near one-hundred degrees when training camp started. I thought we were all miserable? I didn’t know you could pick my misery out from the next guy and compare it. “It’s complicated.”
“Because of Nash?”
I’m immediately struck with the need to defend her. “No. She’s the easiest thing in my life.”
Noah holds up his hands trying to break the tension. “Let’s try something else. You’ve been here nearly a year; why are you interested in doing this now?”
“Yeah, when I invited you to go to NASA with us you said you didn’t want to go,” Colin adds.
“I might have hated this city when I got here. But this is Nash’s home, and now she’s back and I know she wants it to be for good. With her I feel like I’m open to seeing what Houston has to offer.”
“And you didn’t feel that way about any of us?” Jaden gestures at the guys currently in Ironsides gym. “Asshole,” he mutters.
“I didn’t know you when I first got here. It’s not even been a whole year yet, so chill out. I do like you. I like all of you—against my better judgment.” I huff a laugh. How am I going to explain this to them? I think… I’m going to have to tell them it’s not real.
I need them to come to games with me, and if they’re right about how grumpy I was when I got here, maybe they won’t want to help knowing it’s for me. But they’ll help when they realize it’s for Nash.
“Guys, we aren’t actually together,” I blurt, and the entire gym goes silent. Even the music seems to fade while they all stare at me slack-jawed. “That’s why we weren’t together before now, and why it doesn’t make any sense because it’s fake.”
“What do you mean fake?” Noah’s brows are pulled so close they could cross.
“She wants to use the Hurricanes name and popularity to bring fans to the Moons games. She thinks if people know we’ll be there, they will be more likely to come. I agreed to it if she would be my date to Henry’s wedding. We get two events each, Henry’s wedding is the last one, and after that we’ll just amicably break up.”
Jaden and Mack make eye contact, but the silence continues. I don’t know what spurs me on, but I can’t shut up. “And when I told her I might be interested in experiencing more Texas things now that I’m getting my footing here, she offered to show me.”
A snort immediately burst out of Mack. I shoot him daggers with my eyes and he sucks it back in.
“Texas lessons?” asks Noah.
“She’s going to teach me how to fit in. She’s going to take me to the rodeo, get the right boots, et cetera.”
“Why do you feel like you don’t fit in?” Fuck Noah and his therapy sessions making him get in touch with his feelings. Hecan be as in touch as he wants with his own stuff as long as he doesn’t call me out like this. Why was I so against liking it here? There must be something to enjoy; otherwise, why would anyone even live here? It’s certainly not the weather or the natural beauty…
“When I was a kid, I was a Green Bay Butcher every year for Halloween. My entire family is made up of Butchers fans. It was my lifelong dream to play for them. And I did.”
“But now you’re here,” says Jaden.
I nod at him. “Now I’m here. It’s because a player and I had a difference in views about how to be a part of a football team. So when my contract was up, I left. Easy as that.” I didn’t name any names, but I think they can read between the lines. “But I don’t think it was all that easy because when I came here, I didn’t have the same love for football as I did when I was wearing the jersey I had always dreamed of. I met my biggest hero, and yeah, he pretty much sucked. I lived my dream and it’s over. What do you do with the rest of your life after that?”
Colin puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. “You keep going—and instead, you become the hero you wanted him to be.”
“He’s right,” Jaden adds. “After a loss, there’s nothing to do but get up the next morning and go back to practice.”