I watch him with her and slowly relax. I sit on the floor cross-legged watching them play together, conscious with every movement of my body that I’m sore from the way he touched me, but not in a painful way. The pleasurable ache that makes me miss his hands on me and his mouth.
But he can’t possibly have real feelings for me. What happened last night was an itch, right? A mutual scratch after the time we’ve spent together.
The idea makes me sad. I’m getting used to his deep brown eyes, the sadness and depth reflected there. Hissculpted arms and heavy tattoos. I want to hold him and listen to every secret inked along his body and inside his heart.
Somehow, the man who bought my freedom got a piece of my heart as part of the deal.
But I know I can’t hope for anything more than what I have already. A warm bed. A full belly. A roof over my head and respect as long as I’m inside these walls. He’s been good to me, and I don’t want to mistake that for more.
As I stand to grab a few snacks for Aurora, something occurs to me.
“Savage,” I say quietly. He’s whistling like a train, and Aurora is back to biting his finger. “I, uh… I haven’t had a period in months. I don’t know if it’s stress or something else. I nursed Aurora for a bit, but it’s never come back. So, last night…”
I hope he understands that, despite what we did, there’s no way I can get pregnant.
His eyes meet mine, and I see an entire highlight reel of thoughts cross over his face. At first, discomfort. Then, confusion. Understanding, relief. I don’t know.
He gives me a stiff nod and then scratches his head. “Okay,” he says quietly, but then he chirps, “Ow.”
Aurora pulls her mouth from his finger and laughs. That belly-deep, dimples-out baby laugh that always makes me smile.
“That really hurt. She’s like a puppy, nipping and biting.” He cocks his chin at her, but then a full grinovertakes her face. “She’s so damned cute,Claire. She’s so beautiful.”
I nod. And it means a lot to me that he sees it too. I go over to him and hold out my arms, and as I knew she would, Aurora practically throws her body at me.
I take her from Savage and pat her back, rocking instinctively on my heels. “Go ahead and get coffee or some breakfast for yourself,” I tell him. “Thanks for a special night. We’ll be okay.”
I want him to know that he doesn’t have to stay here. We’re not playing house. I get what this is and what it can never be. But damn if it doesn’t hurt when he stands up, grabs his T-shirt from my floor, and balls it up between his hands. His feet are bare, and the muscles in his arms flex as he kneads the T-shirt between his long, tattooed fingers.
“All right.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, and his mouth opens as if he wants to say more, but he looks from me to Aurora and back to me, and then he’s gone.
By the timeAurora and I are ready to face the day, she is fussy. I feel her gums and they seem okay, but I wonder if she’s starting to teethe. I try to play with her, but we’re both in a mood. I don’t want to admit that I’m thinking about Savage and last night. We’ve been through a lot together in the seven and a half months she’s been alive.
Maybe I need to get out of this room where all I see is Savage, his naked body above me, his hands holding my knees open. I have to stop replaying the images and get something productive done today.
Feeling bold, I wander into the front of the compound.
“Well, well, well, look at you.” Stella is yawning behind the bar, a giant travel mug in one hand. “The prettiest lady and baby in this den of thieves.” She smiles at me and gives Aurora a wave.
“Morning, Stella.” I walk up to the bar and set Aurora on my hip.
“You want something? Coffee? Whiskey for the little one?” Stella winks and I know she’s teasing, but I shake my head and don’t really laugh.
“I’m kind of in a mood today,” I tell her. “I was hoping to go out someplace.”
She nods. “You want company or a ride?”
I think about it. I have an idea where I want to go, and I think I’d like to be alone with my daughter. I packed the laptop in the diaper bag, and I have half a feeling that if I get something done today, I won’t have this vague, nagging moodworking its way through my belly. “A ride?” I say, more of a question than an answer. “You think someone would mind driving me?”
Stella shakes her head. “Hell no, he won’t mind. He’s in the garage with Viper.”
I’ve never been in the garage, but Stella points the way, and I guess she expects me to go interrupt themand ask. My mouth goes sour for a minute, and I have a flashback to the Hellfires club.
These guys are not like that, I remind myself.Stella wouldn’t send me in there if it wasn’t okay.
I walk up to the door just off the kitchen and twist the knob. Inside, I see gleaming antique cars—sexy, old muscle cars, and vintage hot rods—motorcycles and regular cars, unlike the pickups the guys drive when they’re not on their bikes.
I take it all in silently, but Viper turns the minute the door opens.