“Maybe,” I start impulsively, “we could try being friends again though?”
“I’d like that.” Ethan’s smile is genuine but subdued. Our eyes stay fixed on each other, trying to read all the unspoken words behind them. Eventually, his smile widens for the briefest second and he nudges his shoulder against mine, playful but stiff. “So, tell me about your new apartment,friend. I heard you filled it up with cats.”
I laugh. “The apartment’s fine. I’m still making it my own. But the cats are amazing.”
His mouth curves. “Well, I hope to meet them one day.”
The image of Ethan playing with my cats is too much to handle. Who doesn’t love a hot guy petting a cat? I push the image aside, to be revisited at a later time.
“I heard Jeremy stopped by,” Ethan adds eventually.
My stomach drops a little. I reach up and adjust my glasses, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Showed up uninvited and was promptly threatened with a restraining order would be a more accurate description. He definitely willnotbe meeting my cats.”
He laughs, shoulders visibly relaxing.
“How’s the new assistant?” I ask.
Ethan’s groan is immediate. “Terrible.”
Okay, I actually already knew that. I’ve heard rumors from people on the tenth floor that Ethan’s new assistant is pretty awful, and I can’t say that I’m disappointed by the news. The thought of being easily replaced by some other woman—personally or professionally—is unbearable.
We both laugh, but it’s restrained and precarious.
A chill is starting to creep into the night air, sending a little shiver through me.
“We should probably head back inside,” I tell him.
We both stand but linger, neither of us fully committed to walking away. When I finally take a step, Ethan’s hand brushes my arm, stopping me. My skin buzzes with electricity where his touch lingers, and I look up at him.
“Margot,” he says, steady and certain now, “I know you’re not ready. I respect that. But I need you to know that when you are, I’ll be here waiting. There’s no one else. It’s you—and it always will be.”
The weight of his words sinks into my chest, sharp and tender at the same time. Painful but perfect. I blink rapidly, fighting to keep my emotions in check.
Kissing him would be the easiest thing in the world right now. I can imagine the way his kiss, his touch, his words would all soothe away the lingering pain of this situation. But I need to heal on my own. I need to be sure that I can trust Ethan, but more importantly, I need to be sure that I can trust my own heart. It’s steered me wrong before. It’s made me doubt my own judgement and allowed me to settle for a relationship that was less than what I deserved. I won’t let that happen again.
“Ethan…”
It’s clear to us both that I didn’t actually have an ending to this particular sentence in mind.
After a moment, he lets his hand fall back to his side, giving me space. His smile is weak but reassuring. “Come on,” he says, tilting his head towards the house. “Before Emma sends a search party.”
32
Ethan
Ikick off my shoes as soon as I walk through the door and drop my keys on the counter. The buzz of the evening is still present in my veins, long after Margot left the party and I got caught by too many chatty distant relatives to escape alongside her.
Seeing her again did something to me. For the first time in weeks, I don’t feel like I’m wading through mud, just trying to get through the daily motions of existing. It confirmed what I already knew: I won’t let her go without a fight. I’ll give her the space she needs for now, but whenever she’s ready, so am I.
I can only hope that day comes eventually.
After I pour myself a glass of scotch, I drift through the dark house. On nights like this, I don’t know what to do with myself. The house is too empty, too quiet. It’s hard to remember what my nights were like before her. Filled with meaningless one-night stands, I guess, which have long since lost their appeal.
My phone buzzes in my pocket as I’m making my way to the balcony. I fish it out and glance down at the screen. My pulse kicks up a notch when I see her name there.
It’s a text message containing a photo of two cats curled up in her green velvet chair with the caption:Harriet and Ramona, world’s best cats.
The corners of my mouth quirk into a smile.