One by one, the kids considered them.
“This one looks like a giant potato,” Ellie observed of the eighth or ninth they’d inspected.
Josh stroked his beard. “Potatoes have great buoyancy.”
Eyes rolling, she scoffed. “You made that up.”
“Oh, I absolutely did.”
She dissolved into a fit of giggles while Maggie used her arms to measure the width of one just ahead.
Julian was careful and serious, assessing every one. “This one looks brave.” He declared after at least three rounds of inspections.
Josh wandered up to him, standing close but not touching. Always respectful of Julian’s boundaries.
“I think you’re right,” Josh said, his tone deferential. “You’ve got a great eye.”
“It’s wide,” Julian observed, “but not too tall. I think we can win with this one.”
Eyes flashing with what might have been affection, Josh slowly held out his fist.
Still examining the pumpkin, Julian reached out and bumped it.
Getting the gourd into the bed of the truck took twice as long as it took the kids to choose it.
When Annie rolled up with her forklift, I couldn’t help but sigh. Of course this woman could confidentlyoperate heavy machinery. Jesus. She probably knew the Karma Sutra and did particle physics in her spare time.
Once it was loaded in the bed of the truck, padded with moving blankets and straw bales, then secured with about a dozen rachet straps, we were ready to head back.
If the ride there was rowdy, it had nothing on the ride home.
“We can’t hollow it out today,” Josh told them halfway home. “I’ve got to get it out and up on a platform in the barn. If I put it on the ground, it will rot. I’m going to spray it with a sealant tonight, but we can start scooping it out tomorrow.”
“How much will we scoop out?” Maggie asked.
“Not sure, but I’m bringing a dumpster over. You’d be shocked by how much we’ll end up with.”
“Do we get to use power tools?”
Smirking, Josh slid his arm across the console and gently brushed my arm.
I froze, keeping my gaze forward, not wanting to move but also a bit frightened by how much I enjoyed the contact.
Had I spent more than a normal amount of time thinking about last week’s hug? Yes, I had.
I was hardly touch starved; I had three kids hanging off me most days, and Wayne was quite needy as well.
But being held like that? In his strong arms. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt so safe. So secure. It felt like, for once, someone else was carrying the load with me.
It only lasted for a moment, but the sensation was one I’d known a long time ago. One I hadn’t felt since I was a kid and I’d wake up to my mom gently stroking my hair.
For a few moments, Josh had helped me feel like I could do this. Helped me believe that I’d be okay.
And as a result, I was barreling at top speed towards a full-blown crush on the man.
He was kind and decent, which shouldn’t have been out of the ordinary but was novel in my experience. Each time I thought about him, I felt like a teenage girl. Even Ellie would be disgusted by me.
So I’d sit here and enjoy the feel of his forearm brushing against mine, and then I’d go back to reality and do all the stuff that had to be done. Because there was no room in my life for crushes. Though was it possible there was room for a kind friend? Someone who was good to my kids and cared enough to pack the right snacks? I’d never had one of those before, and more and more, I wanted to be his friend. To hear his jokes and listen to his stories and figure out what the hell the machines he used on the farm were for.