I couldn’t lie to the kid. She was too smart. And I cared about her. I wanted to earn her trust. After she’d been so let down. I knew I had to tell the truth.
“I’m going to talk to you like you’re an adult for a minute,” I said.
Her face lit up.
“Yes, I am in love with your mom. She is amazing.”
Eyes narrowing, she clutched her stick with both hands. “So you want to marry her? She’s already been married.”
“I know. And no, I don’t want to marry her.”
Shit, that hadn’t come out quite right. I was making a complete mess out of this conversation already. But I hadn’texactly been prepared for the teen girl interrogation squad today.
“Listen,” I said, figuring she probably assumed everyone had an ulterior motive. “I love your mom. I want her to be happy and healthy and safe. That’s all.”
She tightened her grip on her hockey stick. “I don’t want anything from her. And I would never pressure her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”
“She doesn’t need a husband.”
I dipped my chin. “I can see that. You four are doing so great on your own.”
“She’s strong now, but she wasn’t always,” she admitted, her voice suddenly much quieter.
Despite her best efforts, she couldn’t hide the fear or the anxiety that came with having to grow up too fast and too soon.
My heart broke for this scrappy girl. The girl who’d had her childhood taken away by the person who was supposed to love and protect her at all costs.
“I may love your mom, but I respect her even more. And I respect you,” I said slowly. “So if you want me to stay away,” I said, even as I cursed myself for making this promise, “I will.”
“No.” She shook her head, frowning. “My mom gets to make her own decisions. I like you. My brother and sister like you. So if Mom likes you, then that’s okay.”
Huh. A sense of relief washed over me. I hadn’t expected such a thought-out response.
“You’re very mature,” I said.
“But,” she went on, “just because I say it’s okay doesn’t mean I’m not watching you.”
I nodded once. “Of course.”
“And if you hurt my mom?—”
“I won’t.”
“If you hurt my mom, my siblings and I will hurt you. You think I’m the scary one?” she asked, passion in every word. “Julian’s super intense and Maggie’s the wildcard. She may get distracted by books and baby animals, but she can be ruthless.” She heaved out a breath, ducking. “Everyone is finally doing better. It took a long time, but it finally happened.”
I wanted to wrap her in my arms and tell her that nothing bad would ever happen again. But I knew better than to promise the impossible.
“You did a great job,” I said. “I see how protective you are. How you anticipate Julian’s needs. How you help your mom and step in when your siblings need you.” I rocked back on my heels. “You had to take on a role no kid should have to. And if you need to vent. I’ll always listen.”
We walked the rest of the way in silence.
“Josh?” Ellie said as we approached the porch.
“Yes.”
“Thanks for the stick. I’ve missed playing hockey.”
“Anytime, kiddo.”