I had spent months treating her like an enemy. I thought she was a gold-digger who only wanted my name. But the truth was a nightmare. She was a victim who had suffered in silence, and instead of being her protector, I had been her tormentor. I had asked for a divorce while she was already drowning.
"Sir? Are you okay?" the guard asked, reaching for my shoulder.
I didn't answer. I pulled out my phone, my fingers shaking so hard I could barely type. I checked the schedules. There wasn't another flight for ten hours.
"Ten hours," I whispered to the empty air. My heart felt like lead. “And I have to report to my military base by tomorrow morning.”
I was trapped between my duty and the woman I had just realized I loved. And I was losing both.
_________
The heat in Assam was different from the city. It was thick, wet, and smelled like rain and mud. I was at the military base for advanced jet training, a place where I usually felt at home. But now, the uniform felt like it was choking me. I was surrounded by soldiers, but I had never felt more alone in my life.
Every morning began with a brutal run, but I didn't feel the burn in my muscles. My mind was stuck in a loop. I kept seeing my father’s face, the man who had manipulated my life like I was a chess piece. I thought about my mother’s diary, filled with my mother’s hateful words. She had painted a world where love was a lie, and I had been stupid enough to believe her.
Most of all, I thought about Kavya.
I remembered the way she used to look at me with a hope that I had slowly crushed. I realized now that every time I raised my voice, she was remembering the abuse from her father. Everytime I accused her of wanting my money, she was probably thinking of her brother stealing her hard-earned savings. I had become just another monster in her life.
"Chauhan! If you're going to daydream, do it on your own time! Move!" the drill sergeant roared.
I wiped the sweat from my forehead and continued the drill, but the guilt followed me like a shadow. I was a soldier trained to protect people, yet I had failed to protect the one woman who actually loved me.
The day of the high-altitude flight arrived. The sky was a pale, dusty blue. I stood on the tarmac, staring at the fighter jet. Usually, flying was my escape. When I was in the air, the world below felt small and unimportant.
I climbed into the cockpit. The familiar smell of metal and electronics surrounded me. I buckled my harness and put on my helmet, trying to lock my emotions in a box.
"Alpha One, radio check," the tower crackled.
"Alpha One, loud and clear," I replied, my voice sounding hollow to my own ears.
I taxied to the runway. As the engine roared to life, a memory flashed in my mind, Kavya standing in the backyard watching me as I saw my birthday cake. I yelled at her. I had told her I didn't care. Now, that memory felt like a knife twisting in my gut.
"Clear for takeoff."
I pushed the throttle. The force of the jet pressed me back into my seat as I shot into the air. I climbed higher and higher, piercing through a layer of thick clouds. Below me, the green forests of Assam stretched out like a carpet.
But I couldn't escape the thoughts. They were in the cockpit with me.
I thought about the note she left. Goodbye, handsome. She was probably in Switzerland now, breathing fresh air, finally free from my shadow. The thought that she might be happier without me made my chest ache more than any G-force ever could. I had lost her. I had pushed her away until she had nowhere left to go but a different continent.
Suddenly, a sharp, metallic clink echoed through the airframe.
My eyes snapped to the instrument panel. A red warning light began to flicker. My heart skipped a beat, but not because of the danger, it was the sudden realization that I didn't care if I crashed.
"Control, this is Alpha One. I have a vibration in engine two," I said, my voice steady despite the chaos starting in the jet.
"Alpha One, we're seeing a temperature spike. Level off and return to base immediately."
The jet shuddered. A loud bang followed, and the aircraft lurched to the left. Smoke began to fill the small cabin. I fought with the controls, pulling the stick with all my strength, but the jet was resisting me. It felt like the machine knew I was broken inside.
"I'm losing hydraulic pressure!" I shouted into the comms. "The controls are locking up!"
"Eject, Alpha One! Eject now!" the tower screamed.
I looked down at the yellow and black handle between my legs. If I pulled it, I would live. But my mind was stuck on a final image: Kavya’s face when I asked for the divorce. I had destroyed her world. Maybe this was my punishment.
The jet went into a violent nose-dive. The green forest below began to spin faster and faster. The alarms were screaming, a high-pitched wail that sounded like a woman crying.