I see the devastation on her face, the way her carefully constructed sanctuary crumbles in real time. Part of me, the part that's still Sasha, wants to comfort her, wants to promise it will be okay.
But Aleksandr knows better. Nothing is okay. Nothing will be okay until I've secured my position, eliminated my enemies, and figured out what the fuck to do about her.
"Get dressed." My voice is harder than I intend. "Warm clothes. We have a long drive ahead."
She stares at me for a long moment, and I see the exact second she realizes she's lost this battle. Her shoulders slump, defeat written in every line of her body.
"Fine." She pushes past me toward the bedroom.
Danil appears at my elbow once she's gone. "You sure about this? Bringing her back with us?"
"No." I run a hand through my hair, the first sign of uncertainty I've shown since my memories returned. "But I can't leave her here."
"She's a liability." He says it gently, but the truth still stings. "The men won't understand why you're protecting the daughter of a man who stole from you."
"Then they'll learn to understand." I turn to face him fully. "Or they'll find new employment."
His eyebrows rise. "You're willing to risk your position for her?"
"I'm willing to risk everything for her." The admission surprises me as much as it surprises him. "She's mine, Danil. And no one takes what's mine."
"It means you're thinking with your dick instead of your head."
"Maybe." I move toward the bedroom, where I can hear Lena moving around, drawers opening and closing. "But it'smydick andmyhead.Mydecision."
I find her pulling on jeans, her back to me. The nightgown is pooled at her feet, and for a moment I just watch her. The curve of her spine. The way her blonde hair falls across her shoulders. The star-shaped birthmark on her right hip that I've traced with my tongue.
She's beautiful. More than that, she's strong. Resilient. But she is also kind, caring, and giving. You just don't find women with all those qualities in my world.
"I can feel you staring." She doesn't turn around, just pulls a thermal shirt over her head. "It's creepy."
"Get used to it." I lean against the doorframe. "You're going to be seeing a lot of me."
"Lucky me." The sarcasm is thick, and it makes me smile.
I should feel guilty. The old Aleksandr wouldn't have cared. But this version, the one who's spent weeks learning what it means to be human again, feels the weight of what I'm doing to her.
It doesn't change anything. I'm still taking her. Still claiming her. Still refusing to let her go.
Because bringing her back to the city is probably the stupidest thing I could do. It puts a target on her back. Makes her a weakness my enemies can exploit. Complicates everything about reclaiming my position.
But I can't help it.
She belongs to me, whether she wants to admit it or not.
31
LENA
The walk through the snow feels endless. My legs burn with each step, the cold seeping through my jeans despite the thermal layers underneath. The beam from my flashlight cuts through the darkness, illuminating nothing but white and more white, trees casting skeletal shadows that reach for us like grasping fingers.
Aleksandr walks ahead, his broad shoulders cutting through the wind like he doesn't even feel the cold. Danil brings up the rear, and I'm trapped between them. Literally and figuratively.
My duffel bag is heavy on my shoulder, packed with the essentials of a life I'm leaving behind. Again. The cabin that was my sanctuary for three years is already fading into memory, and the ache in my chest has nothing to do with the frigid air.
"How much further?" My voice comes out breathless, strained.
"Another quarter mile." Danil's accent is thicker in the cold. "The car is just past the ridge."