“I had no idea I was gay, Trav. I swear. None. But now I think about it, I think I craved you. Your touch, those bloody hugs, your smile, those head rubs I’d come for every night. I think I started to realise what we had was more than a friendship. And then I met Finn.” His attention switched to Twinkle, and I rolled my lips into my mouth so I didn’t act like a brat and call him it again.
Finn stared back at Jasper, wide eyed like a love sick puppy. I knew he was pissed off with Jasper too as they’d not spoken to each other since I arrived, their work conversations in the office frostier than a snowman.
“You make me feel so safe to be myself. I came home to find myself, and there you were, unapologetically you.”
I wanted to be angry, but I had to admit that I liked that Jas had found that. He’d been so unhappy for such a long time. Maybe he had needed Finn to help him unlock who he truly was. Although, I refused to let him know I thought that. I kept my face fixed in angry mode.
“Seeing you dance was such a moment. I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing you move and then realising it was you.” He sighed, leaning back in his chair. “What I’m trying to say is, I would never have got here without you both. And even now I understand that I like men, I’m not looking about, thinking how hot everyone is… I only have eyes for the two of you. But that’s the problem. I am attracted to you both. I know that’s wrong, and I’m messed up, but I want to be honest. For the first time in my life, I want to be open about how I feel, and I’m feeling a lot… for you both.”
I waited for the punchline, but one didn’t come.
I looked to Finn, whose mouth had gone slack as he stared at Jasper and then back to the man in front of me.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying? You want to what? Share? Fuck us both?” I sneered my disgust, even though, to my surprise, talking about sharing made my cock twitch to life. “I don’t share and don’t fuck twinks.”
Jasper looked like he was about to speak, but Finn got in there first, pushing up to stand, his smooth complexion pinking as his head moved between us. “I’ve kept my thoughts to myself up until now. You,” he turned to me. “You’re jealous because I got his first kiss and his first orgasm, but fuck you. I’m not apologising for that. And stop calling me a twink. I hate that name. No, scrap that. I hate Twinkle more.”
Angry Finn was rather spicy and unexpected. He turned his rage to Jasper.
“And you. I’m sorry, did you think that you could fool around with me and then, because this one”—he pointed in my direction—“turns up, you can just ghost me like my feelings don’t matter. Well, they do. You hurt me, Professor. Shit, you made me cry and after everything that happened with Bobby, I didn’t need that.”
Jasper’s expression crumbled, and I wondered what Bobby had done to Twinkle.
Finn put his hands on his hips, drawing my attention to his narrow waist and the outline of his cock in his way too tight trousers. I licked my lips involuntarily, before berating myself for another weird reaction to this man I was in no way attracted to.
Finn let out a loud sigh before stepping away from the table. “Actually, I’m going to make this easy for everyone involved. Professor, I quit. I can’t do this. I won’t do this. You hurt me and you’ve not even apologised.”
“But—” Jasper tried to speak, but Finn was on a roll.
“No, I’m done.” Then he turned to me. “Now you don’t have to put up with the twink, and you get Jasper all to yourself. Oh, and the good news is, we didn’t fuck, so I didn’t get all his firsts. Go, knock yourself out.”
And with that, he turned and stormed out of the room, leaving us alone.
FINN
The doorto the suite slamming echoed down the empty corridor, tears blurring my vision as I hurried to the elevator, needing to put some space between me and them. Because that was how it felt. They had history. I was an outsider. No matter what Jasper said about how he felt about me, experience told me that I’d end up getting hurt. Fuck, I was already hurt.
I hit my finger against the call button for the lift, hoping it came quickly. When I stepped into the metal box, I let out a sigh of relief. I knew I needed to go back and get my stuff, but right now, I needed to feel the sun on my face. I’d get a coffee, I’d scroll social media, I’d pretend I’d not just had my heart broken.Again.
When the lift pinged at the ground floor, I walked through the foyer and outside, huffing out a breath. The street was busy with people travelling home, and I didn’t want to be around people. I wanted to fall apart, and I wasn’t letting anyone see that.
I walked across the road through the small park that I knew took me down some quieter roads. The sun was warm, and it went some way to easing the pain radiating in my chest.
I was lost in my thoughts, which was why I didn’t notice the bee until it flew near my face. Not thinking, I raised my hand to keep it away, and it hit me, stinging me near the base of my throat.
I wiped my neck, removing the offending beast and trying to get rid of the venom, but I could already feel it poisoning me. My lips tingled, my throat tightening. But it was fine. I just need my EpiPen. Reaching for my bag, I remembered leaving the hotel without it.
Stupid, Finn. Never leave without the EpiPen.
Right, I just need my phone. Patting my pockets, if it wasn’t for the narrowing in my throat, I might have laughed or cried when I realised that my phone was in my room. Sucking in a breath, I ignored how hard it felt to get air in or how narrow my throat felt as my slowing pulse thumped ominously in my ears. I focused on the hotel, which I could see towering above me. It wasn’t far. I’d be fine.
Setting off at a pace, I stumbled back, repeating that I was going to be fine again and again, all the while ignoring just how scared I was.
TWENTY-FIVE
TRAVIS
Jasper stormedoff to his room as soon as Finn left, and I started packing. He told me he’d let me quit, and I intended to take him up on it and get the hell out of here.