“No,” she interrupted. “Why are you glad I came to you?”
I shook my head before walking toward the cabinets and taking out two glasses, pouring us both a large drink. She stepped closer, taking one from my hand. Her fingers brushed against mine, sending a jolt of electricity up my arm.
“I’ve never had anyone need me before. Rely on me.” I paused, knowing it probably sounded ridiculous. “I know it was onetime, but it made me feel… God, it sounds stupid saying it out loud.”
“Go on,” she encouraged.
“Like a man.” I sucked in a breath, bringing the glass to my lips so I didn’t say anything else.
Helen placed her glass on the counter and then took mine. When her hands were free, she pushed her fingers through my still damp from the shower hair, letting her palm come to rest on my cheek. We stared at each other for a while, the heat of her touch spreading through my skin like wildfire. And while I knew I should be trying to extinguish the flames, I just wanted to let them engulf me.
“You, Jax Cartwright, are all the man you’ll ever need to be. What would make you feel anything less?”
I huffed out a laugh. “It’s a long story,” I admitted.
“I'm a good listener.”
I wanted to shake my head to say no, but I was terrified she’d move her hand from my face, so instead I wrapped mine over the top and held it in place. “Maybe one day.”
“For what it’s worth, I’ve never had someone I felt comfortable coming to for help. Yes, I have the men from work and my boys, but I always felt they had to help… it was their duty or something. I know it’s weird, but I knew you’d want to help me. God, am I being stupid? Making things weird again.”
I smiled, leaning into her touch. “You’ve never made things weird. You might tell yourself you have, but you haven’t. I like being here when you need me.”
I dropped my hand, and she lowered hers too.
“You want to watch a movie with me?” I asked. Despite how exhausted I was, I couldn’t bear to leave her side.
“I’d like that.”
Chapter 7
Helen
“Let me get this right… you look hot, you promise you’re not wearing old lady underwear, we love your outfit… so these are all big ticks on your life makeover to-do list, but you’ve not managed to make yourself come and now you’ve decided you’re broken,” Vee summarised.
“Pretty much. I mean, I’ve tried and I just can’t do it.”
“Tell us what happened. Every detail.”
I took another sip of my wine. “I tried the rabbit. It hurt like hell and I couldn’t get it inside me.”
“You used lube, right?” Lizzy asked.
“What? No. Why would I use that?” I looked at them in horror, wondering what the hell I was getting myself into with all this.
Vee placed her hand over mine. “It helps get things inside you easier. We should have ordered you some.”
I let my head fall to the table. “I should just give up. Everything is freaking me out.”
Becks was sitting next to me in the booth of the wine bar and she ran her hand up and down my back. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t stand the idea of sex if I'm just stressing about coming, I can’t come because I can’t seem to relax enough to enjoy it, I don’t want to date until I understand my own body and am clear about the things I like and I’m too scared to explore what I might enjoy.” I looked between my friends. “I’m having all these weird feelings, inappropriate thoughts. It’s like I don’t know myself.”
“You’re having a sexual awakening, sweetie,” Vee informed me. “Your body is chasing the pleasure it’s been missing out on all these years. Don’t fight it. Enjoy it.”
“What if it’s wrong?” I muttered as the image of Jackson flickered in my mind. Him, dressed in only those shorts the other day, showing off the giant flower-covered cross tattoo on his ribs and the butterflies that stretched down his arm. His mussed hair when he’d just woken up, the low timbre of his voice as he told me how much he liked me coming to him for help last night. I’d never experienced anything like it; just being around him made my panties wet and my body crave something I didn’t understand.
“You don’t have a bad bone in your body, Helen, so it won’t be wrong,” Becks reassured me and I wondered what my friends would think if they knew I was having these thoughts about someone who was completely off limits, not to mention, way out of my league.