“Helen.” His voice softened, and I hated it because his kindness would make me break down and I didn’t want to bethatperson. “Look at me.” I met his gaze. “You want me to have him killed?”
I offered him a small smile, hoping he was joking. “No. I’m good.”
He raised his brows, pointing to the seat across from his desk. Sighing, I sat.
“Look, I’m not going to demand you spill your secrets and tell me what’s going on. I mean, you can, by all means, but you don’t have to.”
“Thank you,” I whispered.
“But I’m going to ask you some questions and I want the truth.”
I nodded.
“Are you okay?”
I shrugged. “Divorce, new life… it’s a lot more than I imagined.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
I scrunched my nose, loving how my emotionless boss had the biggest heart. “No… thank you though.”
“Did that douche of a date say anything to upset you? Did he message you afterward? Is that why you’re upset?”
“No, I promise. Tyler took me home and I’ve deleted the dating app, so I’ve not heard anything from him.”
“Good. You deserve so much more than a shitty online date who probably has fake profile pics.”
This time it was me who raised my brow. “What did you do?”
He widened his eyes as if to proclaim his innocence before his confession. “I found his profile and compared his pictures to his actual real-life face. You had a lucky escape.” I couldn’t help but laugh, feeling slightly vindicated. “And then I sent his wife an anonymous tip off about what he's been doing.”
“Wife?” The smile fell from my face, and I hated how stupid I’d been, agreeing to meet someone I knew nothing about.
“Like I said, lucky escape. Next time, I’ll be checking them out personally and maybe coming with you so I can sit at a table nearby and keep an eye on these douches. You, Helen, are an amazing woman and you deserve someone who will see that and remind you of it every day.”
I let out a sigh. “I think I’m going to focus on work. It’s the one place in my life that I feel like I’m succeeding right now.”
“Can I give you some advice… as a friend?”
This was so unlike him, so I knew he was really trying to cheer me up. But when he continued without waiting for me to answer, I knew bossy Thomas was back in the building.
“There are no rules. Your kids are grown. They are amazing men. You and Gary did a great job, but this is your time and you can do anything you want. Making yourself happy should be your sole objective.”
His words burned because apparently, I couldn’t make myselfhappy.
“Don’t bury yourself in work. What we do here is fucked up, and it makes us all that little bit more jaded. I don’t want that for you, Helen. You’re worth so much more.”
I rubbed my hands together where they rested in my lap. “Boss.” I nodded before I stood, signalling that this conversation was over because I wasn’t sure how to deal with this version of Thomas.
He winked. “Now, get back to work, bloody slacker.”
I stared at the sex toys laid out in front of me. I’d never been bothered about coming… or even sex, for that matter. I’d wondered over the years if there was something wrong with me, but I didn’t feel like I was missing out on anything, so I’d never spoken about it to anyone.
I mean, I would have liked to have discussed it with my husband and explored it together, because wasn’t that what couples did? But if I did mention it, he blamed my age or my size or the day of the week; anything but accept any responsibility himself. I guessed Jackson was right when he said I needed to learn what I enjoyed before I could expect anyone else to give it to me, which was I was here now. Trying.
“Right, Helen, it can’t be that hard. Turn on toy, play with the right bits, orgasm.” I blew out my cheeks because I felt like an idiot. I was too old for this shit, but I knew my friends would never shut up if I didn’t at least try one of them.
“Fine,” I huffed, unsure who I was talking to before rolling off my leggings and panties. I threw them to the floor before climbing under the cool sheets.