“It’s strange how much you love that film,” she giggled. Lying on our stomachs watching the laptop, our fingers entwined together. The sky had turned inky black, and the roaring fire kept the chill from the air.
“What’s not to love? It’s the Muppets.”
“You don’t strike me as someone who can sit long enough to watch a movie.”
I rolled over, pulling her with me. Staring up at the fairy lights that now twinkled in the darkness, I shrugged. “Movies I can cope with because I know there’s an endpoint. Reading, box sets, meditation. Na. I can’t deal with any of that shit. I end up feeling like I’m about to lose my mind.”
Her head twisted to look at me. “Do you think you might have ADHD?” she asked, without a hint of criticism.
I’d been asked that before. I knew I was a lot. Fox and Archer were used to me, but other people grew frustrated with my hyper energy and my need to be entertained all the time. I just wasn’t very good at relaxing or justbeing.
“Probably, maybe. I don’t know, but I’m not sure I need to know. This is who I am. It’s who I’ve always been. My dad hated it. He’s been trying to medicate me to calm me down since I can remember.”
“But this week you’ve seemed calm. I mean, apart from the knee bouncing and incessant tapping when you think I’m not looking.” She smiled.
“This week has all been about you. I don’t mean that in a bad way, but it’s been easy as you’ve been my focus, plus being around you seems to calm me and…” I paused. “You make me want to do better.”
She tugged on my top until we were both facing each other. “Don’t do that. Please.”
My eyebrows furrowed.
“Don’t be someone you’re not. I like you, Charlie. Just the way you are. If we’re going to do this when we get home, I need to know I’m getting the real you. Hyper, kind, protective… I want all of you. If you try to pretend to be something you’re not, then this will never work. Promise me you’ll always be a hundred percent real with me.”
I dropped my eyes.
“What?” she questioned.
I shook my head, chewing the inside of my cheek to stop me from saying anything else, but she didn’t let me get away with it. Lifting my chin with her fingertips, her eyes searched mine, looking for the truth.
“People don’t tend to stick around when they get to know me. I’m a mess. I’m crap at opening up and letting people in. I’m worried if you saw all of me… the one that drinks himself into a coma when the world gets too hard or is up at 3 am because a song idea pops into my head and then I can’t sleep for days until I’ve gotten it down; the chaotic, forgetful, self-obsessed version of me, then you might decide this isn’t for you.”
Fern leaned forward and kissed me. It was slow and deep and crept through my body, settling in my bones. When she finally broke away, she placed her hand over my heart. “I think I’ve seen more of the real you this week than you realize. You’re a goodman, Charlie Wyatt. A good man with a good heart. The other stuff is part of who you are and I won’t have you hide any of it from me. Got it?”
My mouth curled into a half smile. “Yes, boss.”
“Good. Now it’s 11.30 pm. Do you want to go find something for us to toast the New Year with?”
I nodded.
“And bring the ice cream you promised.”
Chapter 19
Fern
I lay under the fairy lights that Charlie had somehow hung in the huge blanket fort he’d built. I loved his playful side. There was never a dull moment around him, and I hated that he thought he’d have to hide any part of himself from me. But what I hated more was that people had made him feel like he wasn’t enough or was unlovable. His dad had a lot to answer for.
Deciding that I needed the bathroom, I crawled out of the tent. Shivering, I noticed the fire had died down, making me wonder how long Charlie had been gone. Throwing on a couple of extra logs, I pulled one of the fleecy blankets from the sofa and wrapped it around myself, going in search of my myth maker.
I couldn’t find him anywhere downstairs and the rain hammering against the windows told me he wasn’t outside, sothere was only one place left to look. While I took the stairs to the lighthouse, I called out Charlie’s name.
At the top, I was surprised to find the place in darkness. Puzzled, I turned to go and search downstairs again, starting to feel panicked, but then I heard him sigh. “I’m in here, Princess.”
I stepped into the darkness and pressed against the back wall in the shadows was Charlie.
“What’s wrong?”
Standing, he cupped my face with his icy hand as he stared down at me. “God, you’re beautiful. How have I been around you all these years and not noticed that?”