He narrows his eye at me. "Are you quoting Twilight?"
"Aw. You've seen Twilight?"
He curls his lip at me with a low growl.
There'sthe Rex I know and love.
Um. Not…love.
I brandish the cock toward him like a sword to distract myself from the sudden heat in my ears. He rears back. "Ha! You flinched!"
"I didn't fuckingflinch,you psycho?—"
He lunges at me to confiscate my new weapon. I swing at him again and the slippery dick shoots out of my hand.
Rex ducks.
The silicone dick sails over him in a beautiful arc, hits the ceiling with a wetthwap, and sticks there.
We both look up.
It's just... hanging there, stuck to the ceiling by the flat base by whatever residual moisture was left on the surface.
"Huh," I say.
Rex keeps staring at the cock on the ceiling. Then at me.
"Get it down," I tell him.
"No."
"Rex."
"I am not touching your rubber cock."
"It'ssilicone."
"I don't care."
"You're taller than me!"
"Not my problem."
I jump. My fingers brush the tip but I can't get a grip. The ceiling in this place is stupidly high. Alpha-sized ceilings for alpha-sized assholes.
I jump again. Miss by an inch.
"You could help," I grunt, mid-jump.
"I could," Rex agrees, not moving.
I land, panting. The cock sways mockingly above us.
Fine.
"PHOENIX?" I call down the hallway. "CAN YOU COME GET MY DICK OFF THE CEILING?"
Dead silence from the kitchen.