Thisis why he can't eat in front of anyone. Why he can't drink without the liquid seeping through. Why he has no mirrors in his room and hates himself even though he's an insanely skilled guitarist who fills arenas.
I scroll without thinking. Comment after comment after comment, the Internet feeding frenzy in full swing.
MONSTER
holy shit is this real
fake af no way
this has to be photoshop right???
imagine fucking that lmaooo
CALLED IT
everyone knew something was wrong with him
he looks like a fucking zombie
this is so fucked up actually
MONSTER
"Phoenix." Rafael's voice is barely recognizable. "Phoenix, look at me."
I tear my eyes from my phone long enough to see Phoenix's face. He's gone pale. Not just pale, butgray, all the color drained out like someone pulled a plug. His hands are shaking where they grip the steering wheel.
"He's going to lose his fucking mind," Rafael says quietly. "This is—Rex has spent so many years making sure no one ever sees—and now every single person?—"
Phoenix's forehead drops to the steering wheel.
"I'm going to find him."
The words are out of my mouth before I've consciously decided to say them. I'm already reaching for the door handle, already moving, my body operating on autopilot while my brain scrambles to catch up.
"Bells, wait!" Phoenix says, lifting his head so fast he almost gives himself whiplash and scrambling for his own door. "It's fucking pouring rain and you don't even know where he is!"
I don't have an answer for that. Don't have a logical explanation for why I'm so certain I need to be the one to go, or how I'm supposed to find someone who doesn't want to be found before he does something stupid and permanent.
But something's pulling me. Scent match bullshit, I guess. Or maybe just instinct.
Or maybe I'm losing my fucking mind.
Doesn't matter.
"I'll find him," I say again.
I'm out of the car and taking off toward the treeline before either of them can stop me. I hear Phoenix and Raf's boots slamming against the asphalt and then the wet dirt, yelling after me as they chase me, but I'm faster and more agile than Phoenix.
When Raf leaps for me, it's a moment too late. His hand closes on thin air and I hear him snarl as his boot slips and he slams into the mud.
Maybe a white rabbit is the perfect motif for me after all.
CHAPTER 10
REX
Nash's grave is the only place in the world where I don't have to pretend.