“Is that why you want this so badly?”
He hesitates. I can tell he doesn’t like the question, but I press on. I move closer and put my hand on his chest, probing and curious. His heart is steady, but I swear, it stutters under my fingers, for a brief moment.
“Maybe…” He trails off and I can tell he’s working to find the words. “I saw what real power’s like when Allie got involved with Mass. I saw how small and insignificant my family’s been. How we’re like flies to be swatted by men like the Dragons. And it became clear that if I ever wanted to be able to guarantee safety and security to the people I love, then I had to become like them. I had to become a Dragon.”
“Who do you want to protect, Gabe?”
“My brother. You’ll meet him one day.” He smiles to himself. “Dom’s a good guy. There’s my sister too, her husband, their daughter Rosie, and my parents. I have friends, cousins, uncles, people in the Russo network that helped me grow and shaped me into the man I am today. None of them are safe. Not while there are monsters in the world.”
I lean in closer, nerves jangling down my arms. I feel like I’m getting to see the man hidden underneath that cruel exterior. The human inside the dragon, with real motivations, relationships, friendships, real cares and needs and wants. And I like it, seeing this part of him. It doesn’t make him seem vulnerable, but it does humanize him. It gives him more shape.
And explains some things. Like why he came back for me when my cousin attacked. Why he kept me safe, despite the enormous risk to himself.
“You take care of people you love.” I move my leg up over him, putting my thigh down over his midsection. My calf grazes over his crotch and I cuddle in tight. I’m sweaty and warm, and he’s like a furnace, but touching him is good. It sends shivers down my body.
“I try to.” Those words come out harsh though. “Lately it hasn’t felt like I’m doing a good job.”
“I’m still here. You protected me.”
“Yes, but—“ He turns and meets my gaze. We’re inches apart. My leg’s on top of him. He runs a hand up my thigh, higher and higher, until it reaches my ass. I catch my lip between my teeth to keep from whimpering as he cups it. I’m in a pair of panties. “I should have let you die in that forest.”
My mouth opens. That’s hard to hear. My heart hammers, but his grip on my ass tightens as he turns to face me, keeping my leg wrapped around his hip. He holds my ass harder, fingers digging in almost painfully.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t lie to me. Tell me why you came back.”
“I don’t know,” he says again, this time through his teeth. “I couldn’t leave you.”
“I’m money to you, right? That’s why you married me?”
“That’s right.”
“If I died, you would’ve had it all. You wouldn’t have had to deal with my bullshit.”
“Probably. Maybe. I don’t know.”
“Why did you come back for me, Gabe?”
His fingers pull my ass tight and his other hand wraps into my hair. I’m damp with sweat and my core’s pulsing with how badly I want him to say it, to admit what we both know he’s feeling. What I’m feeling too. Even if it’s confusing and strange, it’s also thrilling, and it’s good, and I want to keep spiraling into this messy madness. I want to keep feeling like I have a future worth living for.
“I couldn’t lose you, Nika,” he says like it’s painful to admit. “I don’t want to let you go.”
“Then don’t.”
His mouth finds mine. It’s desperate and hungry. I kiss him back, head dizzy with how badly I want him. Our bodies tangle together as our lips devour each other, his tongue rolling into my mouth, and my heart’s a nervous wreck as I roll him onto his back, pushing him down with both hands. I bite his lip as one hand pulls at my hair, making my back arch, his other hand sliding between my legs to graze over my pussy.
I kiss his throat and down his chest. I keep going down, lower and lower, until I reach his boxer briefs. I work them down, moving fast and steady, because if I stop, I’ll second-guess, and I don’t want to second-guess.
I want him. That’s all I need right now.
His cock’s thick and veiny. It glistens in the darkness, the tip heavy and wet. I take him in my palm and lick it, tasting salt. I lick his tip and he groans, the most incredible sound I’ve ever heard, as I take him further into my mouth.
“Fuck, Nika,” he says, his voice trembling.
Desire surges in me. I’ve never been more sure in my life. I’ve never wanted something more. I suck him deeper, not caring if I don’t really know what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter. He’s moaning, saying my name, and that’s enough. “Your mouth feels so fucking good,” he rasps as I lick him and suck him harder. “My god, my little Nika, you feel so good sucking my cock like that.”