Arguing between the three of them goes on for a few minutes in whatever language they’re speaking before the voices fade and there’s the sound of multiple sets of receding footsteps.
“You okay?” I ask.
“Fuck off.”
“Fuck off? Fuck off?”
“Did I stutter?”
Oh, poor Bailey. I’m the bad guy. For not fucking around with the feelings of my best friend’s baby sister? I’ve never led her or any other woman on. Not once. And I’ve never looked at her that way. Not even when she grew up, one day being that little shadow following me around with her crooked pigtails while adjusting her giant eyeglasses to me coming back from school ignoring that she suddenly had the body of Marilyn Monroe and in addition to looking at me like I hung the moon, she started staring at me with come-hither eyes.
Of course I had to steel myself against that, block it out. I’m not the only one who had to ignore her transition into a knockout, either. You just don’t gothereunless you have a death wish andwant to give Greyson a legit reason to rip your dick off. And I’d be the same if an alpha I knew would eventually identify a mate was sniffing around one of my sisters. One of my sisters has a family with a beta, the other is all but engaged to a guy she met at school who she hasn’t brought home yet. And then there’s Sherry – a different story, but up until she showed she was a maneater I would’ve been protective, too. Bailey’s no maneater. Bailey, to my knowledge, doesn’t date.
Am I the asshole for not taking advantage of my best friend’s much younger sister’s crush on me when I’ve always known I’d eventually identify my fated mate?
Apparently so, judging by her attitude.
I’ve intentionally kept things casual with every female I’ve screwed around with, so I don’t fuck their feelings up later on. Any female who’s dropped any hints of anything serious has been told, no, I can’t give anyone that.
I’ll have that later and knew when it happened, I wouldn’t want anything unfinished with another female. And the fact that my folks are constantly bickering also meant that no, I didn’t want a relationship before I had to have one where some woman would feel she has a license to hassle me about everything under the sun including about shit before we became official the way my mother does with my pops.
Also, watching what Joel went through with his high school girlfriend stuck with me. They were warned against getting too serious, but they didn’t listen and then they were ripped apart when her fated mate identified her.
There was nothing Joel could do to stop it. And it tore him up. Pops’ council had to get involved, keep Joel from putting his ass on the line because he was ready to throw down and challenge that alpha for a female who wasn’t fated to be his.
Was that shit fair to her mate? No. The guy was treated like he was a thief around here even if everyone knew we couldn’t stop it. He used to be a friend to several guys in the pack; his pack used to do some lucrative business with ours. That all ended when he claimed Susie. He doesn’t come around at all to avoid Joel.
And Joel hasn’t hooked up with anyone in over a decade. Talk about a dry spell…
So yeah, these past few months, I’ve been making a point of trying to make things clear to Grey’s sister instead of continuing to ignore her crush. Because especially since Ty got back, she was making it far too obvious, blatantly making it clear she knew it’d be happening for me soon and that she wanted it to be her. I didn’t have a clue who it’d be; just knew it was close at hand. After watching Joel and even Linc I didn’t want to have to let anyone down easy, especially not someone I have to see pretty much daily.
Linc was twisted up over having to put the brakes on with Cicely. He told me a few weeks ago that if he didn’t know he had a fated mate out there, he would’ve been completely happy to make it official with her. But since he knew different, he had to pull back. He said she was pulling back too, that they both knew the score, that it was all unsaid but understood. And evidently it was the right call. Because Cicely belongs to Jared Stone and Linc and Jared are tight. I don’t know how that played out or how Jared feels about the fact Linc’s gonetherewith Sis, but now that I know it’s Bailey for me, this means Linc now steps up to the plate. The first five of us have identified our mates one after the other pretty quickly, falling like dominos, so at least it shouldn’t be long before it’s all done for all seven and life can move the fuck on.
So, Bailey is pissed at me for being an asshole today. And for being an asshole at the pack party for Erica. Was I pissed off when Danica got that text from the birthday girl asking her to not get physical with me for the sake of Bailey’s feelings? Fuck, yeah, I was pissed at being cockblocked. Who wouldn’t be? And yes, I also needed Bailey to catch a hint. I knew it stung. And now I’ll have to make it up to her. Help her understand where my head’s been at. I’ve been stressed over my impending mating, and now that it’s here this drama right now means I can’t do what I’m built to do.
One of the downsides to keeping things casual with women for all these years is that I don’t get deep, don’t get emotional with them. All that’s got to change. Because now I know it’s Bailey and I sure as shit know her well enough to know she’s gonna want to get deep. She’s the type who wants to pick things apart and understand them. She’ll expect to do that with me. And I’m not looking forward to it, don’t really know how, but know it’s how it’ll have to be. I’ll learn.
She fetches and arranges the blanket so she can lay on the half spread out on the cement floor and pull the rest around herself, putting her head on the pillow. I grind my teeth at the notion of her lying on this cold floor, hating that I can’t hold her and keep her warm.
Sensations swim through my veins. Craving. Need.
I want to keep her warm. Feel her. Lose myself in that sweet aroma. My fingers tingle, wanting to touch her and it’s beyond frustrating to have her this close to me, smelling like this, looking so soft, being so out of reach.
Waking up restrained and having her also restrained and out of reach, flopped over being unconscious… it did some damage to me as I processed the knowledge that my fated mate has beenunder my nose all this time. That I didn’t know who had us or what they planned to do. I’m worried I’ll keep seeing that image in my nightmares. Feeling her close right now would help, I think. And I’m pissed at her for putting me in this transparent cage because it means I can’t.
After a while, Bailey’s breathing evens out and the sound settles something inside me. I’d been feeling like I’m not ready to worry about a mate. But watching her, listening to her breathe close to me, I know it’s how it should be. I should be taking care of her, basking in her attention and letting it feel good to let her love me the way she’s wanted to do for all these years.
I have no clue what it’ll feel like to let her in, but I’m eager to explore all that and find out.
***
Though those fuckers shut the lights out and have this window boarded up, I suspect it’s the middle of the night. She’s been asleep a few hours and there’s been no noise and no active scents above us, so I lean back and close my eyes, resisting the urge to fantasize about seeing her nude.
Unlike the rest of the females in the pack, because Bailey doesn’t shift, she’s got no reason to walk around without clothes on. And this also means no other male has seen her naked, which makes me smile.
Sleep doesn’t come, and I push the thoughts of a warm, soft, naked Bailey aside. Instead, I spend time sifting through some memories, looking at them through a new lens.
I’m a teenager, running the thousand-yard sprint in the youth games, racing against others in my age category. I cross the line second, directly after Joel. Riley and Mase are a hair after me. Grey and Linc are not far behind and ahead of the other guys in our age category who areexpected to mature into alphas. I see her on the sidelines, clapping and jumping up and down, shouting out, “Yay, Jason!”Even though Joel crossed the ribbon first. The moment is frozen for a second as it dawns just how often she’s cheered for me. She cheers for me every single time. Wrestling. Races. Other games. Whenever there’s a crowd around me, I can find her face with her light-filled eyes pointed at me.