“Jason?”
“Yeah?”
“I… I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
“For that…”
“No–”
“Also… because I’ve been such a bitch. I’ve been so fucked up and I… I’m trying to get past it all. It still hurts, though, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
I reply. “You don’t have to fix anything. I’m the one who broke it, so I’ll fix it.”
“I… I want um…” she whispers.
I wait.
“Um…”
She runs her hand up my chest and, still hiding her face in my neck, starts to squirm.
Shit.
I have to deny her. Fuck, this is hard.
“I can’t claim you tonight, beautiful,” I say gently.
Her body goes rigid.
“Can’t?”
“Won’t.”
She’s about to pull away, so I grip her tight.
“I don’t want this tonight. I want this whenyouchoose it.”
“Those pills? Are they-”
“Barely working, but yeah they’re working.”
“So, we could…”
“I wantyouto be the one to decide, not the moon.”
She whimpers and squirms against me.
“Shh, I know,” I try to soothe, rubbing her back.
She’s fidgeting. Now she’s rotating her hips in little circles again.
“What does it feel like?” I ask. “What’s the moon doing to you?”
“It’s like if I don’t… if you don’t… I’ll stop breathing.”
“Use me. Like you just did.”