“Well, you’ve always smelled a little like cinnamon, so… quite a combination.”
His eyes light up and he smiles wide, flashing those kryptonite dimples of his. “Oh yeah?”
I look away, feeling my face get hot.
Jase pays for the desserts and muses, “Interesting,” before he wraps an arm around me and we step to the side to wait.
The sounds, the lights, the excitement in the air, and all the carnival smells…
Me holding a cute little stuffed fairy with Jason Creed’s arm wrapped around me.
Is this really my life?
A future with this guy? With children. Being part of the inner council circle instead of on the outskirts, pushing myself out so I don’t have to watch Jase with someone else?
Wait. I won’t ever have to watch Jase with someone else.
Never. I was so afraid of that. Sick to my stomach over how that would feel. But it won’t ever happen.
My heart gallops hard, rattling my chest.
What’ll change when we get past the awkward stuff? When we get to everyday life?
Everyday life. With Jase.
At that thought, I’m feeling panic rise in me.
My chin is being tipped up and now our eyes are locked.
“It’s gonna be amazing,” he whispers and puts his lips to my forehead. Still speaking, he adds, “I promise you.”
It’s like he knows what I’m thinking. How afraid I am.
I want to put my arms around him, too, but I don’t.
I’m overcome with absolute terror. Because if I really do get everything I ever wanted, I’ll have so fucking much to lose.
***
When we pull into a parking spot at the drive-in, Jase reclines his seat a little and grabs my hand, kissing it, before setting his eyes on the screen.
But ten minutes later, he’s asleep, still holding my hand.
And after the first movie ends, he’s still asleep and I need to pee, so I quietly slip away to the restroom building, about forty feet away.
When I get back, he’s still out like a light. So I watch the second movie. Because I know he didn’t sleep last night.
When the credits roll and other cars around us start up, he wakes up with a startle, grabbing my leg, finding my hand. He looks around, disoriented.
“Shit. Sorry.” He rubs his eyes.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. You didn’t wanna stay for both.”
“It’s okay. Want me to drive home so you can get a little more sleep?”
He blinks a couple times and gives me a look that has me ready to melt. He rubs his lips together as his eyes scan my face.