Thanks. I’ll let you know.
She sends a thumbs up.
Back to Tyson’s, I go. I’m not staying at my house until Bailey comes with me. I stepped in this morning to grab some clothes and have a quick shave and decided I’m not living there until it’s my home with her.
It was rough the last few nights sleeping out of town.
But I felt fortified leaving my house with the trace of her scent still in the air and what really helped was wearing this shirt I’ve got on, because she slept in it the night we slept in my bed.
I knew we both needed a minute. Especially her. And getting to put my nose where she’ll have her mate mark, getting to touch her skin today? Pulling in that sweet apple scent? I feel fortified.
Of course the urge to devour is still part of me, but she’s fragile, which is on me. I might not have meant to hurt her like this, but it’s what I did. I have work to do. A lot of it.
But after I spoke today, stating my case, I could swear I shaved a small layer of ice away from the wall between us. Especially when I reached for her water bottle and she put her hand in mine instead. I could’ve sworn I read trust there in her eyes, the desire to let me take the lead.
Of course getting the news she had no choice but to be mated to me despite the fact that other females might get a chance to stop it from happening wasn’t going to help my cause. I’m just glad the timing worked in my favor, that I got my speech out first.Because I meant what I said. I don’t want a broken mate who doesn’t want to be with me and is broken because I’ve taken her whether she wants it or not.
I want Bailey to want me the way shedid. But in a real-world way instead of a hypothetical one. A world we live in where we’ll be building a life together. Making plans. Having babies. I’m fuckin’ stoked to know we’re going to have babies. It’s a shock one of our kids will be mated to Fae. I’ve never met one, know nothing good about them, really, so it’s a concern, but I’m hoping it’ll be a son mating with a female Fae because if it’s a daughter of mine mated to a Fae male I’m going to be very un-fucking happy from what little I know of them.
And the verbiage Erica used suggests we’ll get to have more than one child. And that there are a more reasons than just offspring to be together.
I just have to work for it. Work for the privilege of claiming her in a way she’ll never regret it, in a way she’ll welcome sharing my bed, my house. Fuck, to sleep in the same bed as Bailey and be able to do whatever I want to that body?
Oh yeah.
Fuck, my cock hurts and my nuts ache. I need to run my wolf right now. That might help. And then I’ll go back to Tyson’s and make plans for tomorrow’s date.
After all the reflecting I’ve been doing, it should be a breeze to come up with a date plan that’ll sweep her off her feet and into my arms. But part of my plan is to make sure I take this at a pace that makes her decide things need to move faster.
I just hope I can keep the rutting urge in check.
I can’t fuck this up. That’s all there is to it.
I’m a fierce competitor. And this time, it’s me versus me.
35
BAILEY
My mom is being a helicopter parent, hovering while I apply my lipstick.
She’s been babying me for the past twenty-four hours, for sure. Trying to reassure me that it’s all going to work out. She even turned up at the library in the middle of the day to bring me lunch and sat for nearly an hour with me.
I’ve soaked it up because a) turning her away is hurtful, especially with what she’s been going through with Dad and b) it’s helping.
I’ve had numerous texts and voicemails from female friends in the pack, but I’ve left them all unread and un-listened to. Word has obviously gotten around that while my new law change request will be granted, I won’t benefit from it myself.
Audrey showed up this morning, ten minutes after I did, and I told her I didn’t need help today. She was sweet and said, “I won’t push you to talk, but if you want to, I’m here. Do you mind if I stay? I was gonna dust the bookshelves.”
She knows me pretty well and I’m glad she turned up because the library has been grand central station today with more than the usual amount of traffic, so she’s taken care of everything while I’ve been at my computer with my headphones on, pretty much ignoring all the looky-loos who want to catch an eyeful of me and see whether I’m crying or not. She took care of everything.
When my folks got back home yesterday, they’d already gotten the scoop from Greyson. Not having to tell them what happened definitely worked in my favor, because I didn’t want to talk about it.
But I did talk to one individual on the phone today. And I unloaded there. Cicely phoned me and I took a walk and let loose a wicked case of verbal diarrhea. I gave her it all - the story from start until now. Except for the stuff I’m not allowed to talk about, which… let’s just say I know there are often prices attached to witchcraft usage and I’ve heard tales of people paying hefty prices for crossing witches or not following their rules around a spell. I told Sis what Lucinda said, though, and knew I picked the right person to unload on when she didn’t tell me I should forgive him. She also didn’t tell me I shouldn’t. She did drop a “Fate knows what it’s doing” which I found irritating, but that’s our religion around here, I guess, so it’s a default reaction.
Cicely listened and she backed me up, said she totally understands how I could so epically malfunction after going through all of that heartache and stress. When I told her I had a date with Jase tonight, whether I want it or not, she laughed and bet me ten bucks that I’ll let him get to third base.
“Watch out, girlie, you’re starting to melt,” she warned. “Unless you’re happy about it?”