“You might’ve thought he was being callous with your feelings, and maybe he was, but he’s suffered for it. I’ve never seen him like he’s been these last four days. Saw him this afternoon and he’s… not Jase. He’s wrecked over this. He’s shouldering the blame, not passing it off. You mean a lot to all of us. I know he was probably a jackass trying to cure you of your feelings for him, but he’s not someone who intentionally hurts pack members. You know that, right?”
I swallow. Maybe that’s why it hurt so much. The dismissiveness. The callous comments. Because Jase has always been super-caring.
Linc continues. “He thought of you like a little sister. We all do. Until things changed. And now he's just… he’s fallen apart. I’m sensing you don’t want to hear this, but if you could find it in your heart to give him a chance, I think he’d bust his ass trying his best to make it up to you.”
“A hundred percent,” Riley chimes in. “Not trying to diminish your feelings, Bailey. You’ve got every right to feel whatever you’re feeling. All our matings have been difficult. Emotional. But we’re all here for one another, right? That includes you. And this is Jason. You know him. Think about that. He never wanted to hurt you. He got caught up with the emotional rollercoaster of everything.”
“Hey, Bailey?” Joel calls from across the space. “What would you have felt like a month ago if Jase identified you as his?”
When I don’t immediately reply, Mase says, “Try and put yourself in that headspace. You didn’t have a little crush on him. You wereall into spend your life making him happy,right? We all know that about you. Giving him everything a mate wants to give her man. It’s been written all over you for years. We’ve all talked about it. Not with Jase, but we have. Some of us recently talked about how great it’d be if it was you because we knew you’d give him a happy home. You’d give him everything he never knew was possible with being in a committed relationship.”
I can’t swallow. I can hardly breathe. They weren’t ridiculing me all this time?
Tyson is suddenly in my space, too. “He’s sorry, Bailey. Don’t do this to him and don’t do it to yourself. You’re meant to be. Don’t deny yourselves the happiness. Whatever good stuff people say about being mated… it’s even better than that. You don’t know what you’re missing.”
“It’s really nice that you’re all standing up for him,” I manage to say despite my clogged throat. “I love you guys for how much you care about this pack.”
“He cares about this pack as much as we do,” Grey puts in.
I sigh. “But he’s not even here. Maybe he’s decided it’s not worth it.”
“Maybe he’s so devastated he can’t pick himself up out of the dumps,” Linc suggests with emotion in his voice that has me feeling an ache that I loathe.
“Instead of you guys speaking for Jase, maybe Jase should speak for himself.” Dani steps closer. “If Bailey is in agreement here, we’ll set up again tomorrow. Unless you want to go look for him and tell him you’re ready to give him a chance?”
The look of sheer panic I give her has her continuing. “Right, okay, so if Jase doesn’t show up tomorrow, if Jase thinks he’s gaming the system here by waiting out the spell because hethinks we can’t indefinitely extend it, then it won’t be tolerated. If I need to put my own ass, my magic on the line to prevent him from traumatizing Bailey, I’ll do it. I will be Bailey’s personal security guard, armed with my entire apothecary and every spellbook I own. Can one of you communicate this to him? Noon tomorrow. We aren’t waiting all fucking day again.”
“Is that what he’s doing?” My voice comes out very high. “Waiting things out so he can come claim me when magic won’t be in the way? Does he really think I’ll just suddenly be okay if he does that?” Panic is a rapidly increasing tidal wave, rising higher and higher inside me.
None of the other council members are responding. Because they’re covering for Jase or because they’re not dignifying Dani’s theory with replies?
Jase sure seemed like he was done when he left me in the woods. I don’t think that was an act.
But what if he does plan to just cart me off and have his way with me? My eyes pan across each council member, each witch in the sunroom. I’m utterly panicked and I know for a fact that each one of them is reading it from me.
“Come on,” Dani tugs my hand, ushering me to the door. “You’re having a sleepover with us in town tonight. Let’s go pack your pajamas. Bring enough for tomorrow night too. Just in case.”
32
JASE
All six of them show up at Tyson’s cabin where I’ve spent the last two nights. They’re here to find out where my head’s at.
I’m on a rocker on the front porch, drinking my fifth beer of the day.
Tyson sits on the porch steps. Riley stands beside him. Joel leans against his front bumper, flanked by Mase and Linc.
“You’ve got until tomorrow noon to attend that meeting,” Grey tells me, sitting on the rocking chair beside me. “Dani’s lost her patience and rescheduled it just once more with threats about what might happen if you’re just waiting this out hoping the spell’ll expire and you can just swoop in and take her.”
“What’s her threat?” I ask.
Making me more miserable? I doubt that’s possible.
The dreams I’ve been having without sleeping next to Bailey feel like ghosts haunting me. The ghosts of how things should’ve gone, the ghosts of things I should’ve known. Why the fuck couldn’t I have known she’s mine before I went on a campaign to push her away?
I keep dreaming of her face as she looked at me with that devoted look she always had. How her eyes lit up. How I always looked away and never got to bask in it.
And I’ve dreamt about the times I was intentionally dismissive and how her expression would fall. And that look of heartbreak on her face at Erica Savage’s birthday party when I was moredirect than I’ve ever been about the fact that she was wasting her time wanting me. Telling her I didn’t want to spell it out was doing exactly that in a cruel, public way. I added insult to injury by refusing to discuss it with her afterwards. I dismissed her and hurt her feelings one too many times.