Weird twinges work through my system at her statement, and I try to ignore them. “I’m not usually violent. Unless you count that time I punched Sherry Creed in the face.”
“She had it coming,” Cat whispers, playfully.
A smile tugs at my mouth and I let it out.
Yeah, that punch did feel good. It was nearly twenty years in the making.
Cat holds out the plate of cookies. I take one. So does she.
After eating it, I continue, “And I keep hearing a pup, yipping or yelping, but there’s none around so I’m starting to think it’s in my head. I sat beside a lady on the plane on the way to Italy who told me she gets visions and she thinks I’m going to have a daughter and a puppy for some reason, which may be because if I have a daughter with Jase, she’ll be three-quarters shifter. And if it’s true, I could be messing with the fate of more than just me. Is it possible it’s the spirit of my future daughter’s wolf, angry with me because I’m trying to reject her father, which would mean she never gets to be born?”
Cat’s eyes widen.
And now that it’s actually come out of my mouth, I feel it fully. Guilt. Worry. Sadness.
I quickly say, “I know it sounds like a whole lot of speculation, but the sounds are happening when I’m in a headspace of pushing feelings away or trying to imagine what’s ... you know… what’s next after I get past this.”
“What’s next without Jase,” she elaborates.
I nod slowly, feeling emotion welling up once more. I swallow it down and wait, expecting more of the mystery sounds. It doesn’t happen this time.Figures.
“Denying the alpha mate bond can produce some ill effects for the alpha, though I don’t have any data from case studies about females and our pack is, of course, kind ofextrain that regard.”
“To put it mildly,” I add.
“And females don’t generally have time after being identified like you have. Erica being the exception.”
“Right.”
“Look at my nephew and that copulation tie when he tried to deny the rutting urge.”
“Yeah,” I say, suddenly terrified of being stuck in something like that. Erica was a virgin when Riley roughly claimed her and they were stuck for a couple days. She complained about how sore she was.
“Is there anything I can do to equalize my emotions right now to get through this?” I ask.
Cat gives me a kind smile. “I don’t think there’s any true medical cure for heartache, Bailey.”
“Drats.”
I thought as much.
“When might all this be resolved?” she asks.
“Maybe soon, maybe not. I’ve petitioned for female shifters to have rights that allow them to stop an alpha from claiming them if that’s not what they want. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance to see it through while avoiding being claimed. You know about the spell on Jase, obviously.”
“Yes.”
“Technically it expired yesterday, though we have a twenty-four to forty-eight hour reprieve, depending on some factors.”
“Right. My advice is to take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, healthy food, and hydration while you sort this out. Once it’s sorted, if you’re still feeling off either emotionally or physically, come back and we’ll have a closer look.”
“Oh,” I say softly and I know she hears disappointment.
Cat grabs my hand and squeezes it with affection.
“What you’re going through is taking an incredible toll on you emotionally and of course that can lead to physical symptoms, too. Lack of appetite, trouble sleeping, irritability and anxiety. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes, you’re jittery, and you’re stressed out, honey. I’m sorry I don’t have a magic pill that’d help. Do you want something to help you sleep? I’ve got some extra-strength melatonin here. This brand works great for me when I have insomnia.”
“That’s okay,” I say.