“I think he’s given up,” I say. “Maybe he’d be happy if it were severed.”
All three of them look worried. And this speaks volumes to me. It tells me they figured Jase would prove himself to me within this past seventy-two hours, that I’d forgive him.
I guess they underestimated how stubborn I can be. Too stubborn to give up for all those years on my Jase and Bailey dream. Too stubborn to relent even a little bit now on wishing that he’d have wanted me on any other terms beyond these ones.
“Thanks for trying to help, you guys. I’m… I’m very appreciative.” I rise but immediately feel lightheaded. They must sense it because they surround me and engulf me in a group hug.
“It’ll be okay,” Vivi promises.
And I don’t know if that’s a premonition or just a hope and I have neither the heart nor the guts to ask.
Instead, I ask, “Did you guys hear from Lucinda?”
“She said she’s been calling you.”
“He threw my phone out the window,” I mutter.
They all react the way I would if I was told this. Dani looks outraged. Erica gasps. Vivi makes a Marge Simpson sound.
“Should I call her?” I ask.
Erica says, “No. She said she was going to tell you she’s got no news. She’s getting an impact read on how a mate identification reversal would affect you guys as well as beyond. Council alpha bond severance isn’t as cut and dried as a typical mate bond severance. Not that any of them are typical because it so rarely happens. We’re all okay to delay things by a few days. Let’s not worry about that right now. I’ll message her and let her know where things are at. What can we do right now to help, Bailey?”
“I think I just want to be alone,” I say. “I want to take a hot bath and a nap.”
“Okay,” Erica says, rubbing my arm. “Let us know if you need anything. We’ll be here tomorrow. Riley will make sure Jase knows about the rescheduling.”
***
I spend the evening between my room and the bathroom, where I’ve had a long bubble bath. I’m overtired and overstressed and it takes until well after two in the morning for me to fall asleep.
My mom came in and asked what happened. And she tried to get me to eat, telling me she’s worried I’ve eaten next to nothing these past few days. In truth, I didn’t have to suck my belly in to do up my favorite jeans this morning, which hasn’t been the case for at least a year.
I held myself together enough to give a short and succinct explanation. She wanted to know if I wanted to talk. I didn’t. I asked if she wanted to talk about her and Dad.
She did. And her talking about it gave my brain a break from my own troubles. She doesn’t blame Dad. She’s just trying to get through it. She’s in emotional pain, but not because she’s angry with him, because she misses him and hates that he’s reliving so much of the pain of his first mating.
She admitted they’ve fought about it but mostly because he’s being so angry and stubborn about the whole thing, including how much blame he’s been putting on the coven. When I shared he told me he’s going to try to be more open about the coven, she seemed happy and repeated that it’d work out. That it’d be okay for all of us. Then we hugged for a solid two minutes before she hung out with me while we watchedPretty in Pink.
I woke up at least twenty times through the night. I tossed and turned so much I decided to get out of bed at four thirty and go to the library early, not opening it at the scheduled opening time, keeping the blinds shut, which allows me to blissfully avoid everyone.
Though, I make the mistake of going into my group chat and read more comments with the same tone as yesterday.
And I’m beating myself up, because maybe Iamguilty of being unreasonable about all of this. Jason’s little speech about forgiveness keeps playing on a loop in my brain, particularly thepart where he said maybe Fate was wrong about us belonging together.
Halfway into my morning, a new post pops up from Cindy, a girl I was close to in summer camp who I haven’t seen in ten years. Her message says she wanted to send her love and support and offer to be an ear if I need it. Another friend name Darlene commented on Cindy’s post that my silence should make other members realize how unsupported I must feel and how much it must hurt considering how supportive I’ve been to everyone whenever they have something going on.
I respond with a thank you to both of them, my reply saying I’m working things out and will be taking a breather from the group. I turn notifications off and close the app.
I’ve gotten five more signatures on my petition, including Cindy’s. I don’t want to deal with anyone today, so I’m about to go next door to ask Misty if she’d like to look after the library for me when I see the light is on in the conference room and catch a variety of scents. I peek in and see several Moonshine Springs females including Addy, Misty, and Caroline. Dani, and Erica are here, too. Erica waves me in.
Caroline, with obvious signs she’s been crying, rises.
“Bailey? I want to apologize,” she says quickly as soon as I’ve got the door opened. “I was drunk and it was out of line and… I’m sorry. I’m dealing with a lot of emotions, which isn’t a great excuse, but I guess it made me make poor decisions yesterday.”
I say, “I’m sorry, too. I should never have put my hands on you.”
“I deserved worse,” she says softly.