So I sit down on my stool, plant my elbows on my knees, and put my head in my hands.
Fuckthis. Fuckme.
The ranch goes on around me as usual. A kid squeals near the corral. Carl whistles past the open doors on his way to the barn and doesn't look in on me. I figure my face is doing enough that he gave me the courtesy.
Lucinda's another story.
She shows up with a plate covered in a cloth napkin. She sets it on the cleanest corner of the workbench, and under it is some brisket, a biscuit, and three pickles lined up like soldiers.
"Eat, honey."
"I'm not hungry, Lu."
She gives me a long look, then she pats my shoulder once, the way you pat a horse that's pulled up lame.
"Eat it anyway,” she says. “Or I'll sit here and stare at you till you do."
"Yes, ma'am," I grumble.
She pours herself a cup of water from my jug, and we talk about everyday stuff because she must not want to upset me more than I already am. After I finish, and she’s satisfied, she squeezes my arm as if to give me her silent support, and then walks back out into the sun.
It's going on five when I hear boots on the concrete.
It’s probably a wrangler needing a bit tightened, or a kid come to watch sparks fly. I stare at the curtain hook in my tongs and tell myself to finish the pass, finish the pass, finish the?—
"Garrett."
My head snaps up.
She's in the doorway.
Her hair's a mess and she’s in the same dress from yesterday. Her eyes are red and puffy and one hand's braced on the doorframe.
I set the tongs down. “Are you okay, Lark?”
She swallows. "Can we…talk?"
I nod once, though I’m still debating whether or not this is a good idea.
She steps inside and gets halfway to me and stops like she's hit something. "I panicked."
I fold my arms and lean back on my workbench. "Okay?"
"I've never done this." Her voice cracks. "I've never stayed anywhere. For anybody. And last night I was lying there with you and I had this thought and I couldn't breathe, Garrett. So I gotup and took off…walked all the way to my cabin before I figured out my boots were on the wrong feet."
A laugh jumps out of me before I can stop it. "Wrong feet?"
"Wrong feet, Garrett." She's laughing, and kinda sniffling at the same time now. "Like a goddamn toddler."
She wipes under her eyes with the back of her wrist.
"What I feel for you is bigger than anything I've ever felt, and it scared the hell out of me. And as I reached my cabin I realized that running wasn't going to get rid of the fear."
My hands go tight on my own elbows.
"I want to stay." She says it so simply my chest actually hurts.
"I'm not promising forever. I wouldn't trust me yet either. But I want to stay here at Wild Vista Ranch. Withyou. See what this is we have." She takes another step. "Carl needs another hand for the summer rush and we both know I'm a good one. I can rope, I can ride, I can run a kids' camp on four hours of sleep?—"