And I meant it. Over my dead body is where they’d have to roll to touch a single blade of motherfucking grass out here.
Ayda had tried to calm me, but the tension and the pressure of the last few weeks and months were building, rolling and creating a huge thunderstorm in my mind that had the potential to be catastrophic. It tore at my gut every day. There were only two people who’d ever been able to get me through those kinds of emotions, and both of them were dead.
It was time for me to step up and lead the way Pete and Harry believed that I could.
Without any shame.
Only action.
The next morning, I told Slater and Jedd to gather every man they could find into The Hut. I wanted them all in there together, no exceptions. My VP and Sarge had asked me what the hell was going on, but a sly smile and shake of the head had convinced them it was nothing serious.
“Ayda pregnant?” Slater joked.
“Guess you’ll find out later,” was all I said in response.
Ayda was in the bathroom when I stepped back inside it, tugging down the edges of my cut and pulling the hood of my hoodie out of the back, so it hung loose. When she turned to look at me, standing there in only her underwear, her eyes wide and her face carrying an edge of uncertainty I was convinced she was trying to hide from me, I leaned down to kiss her on the cheek.
“Another day, another battle,” I whispered against her ear before I pulled away again.
Reaching out, Ayda’s hand found mine and tugged. I barely moved, but she managed to get herself closer to me, one palm on my chest as she blinked up at me. “This is more than a simple battle. This is a war. What do you need from me today?”
“What do you want me to need from you today?”
“I’m behind you Drew, a hundred and ten percent. If you need me, that’s where you’re going to find me. Simple as that.”
I blew out a long, tired breath and offered her a comforting smile. “The whole town knows where you stand, Ayda,” I reassured her. “Every man in this building knows where you stand. More importantly,Iknow where you stand. But I need you to do something for me here in The Hut while I’ve got every man riding out with me, and I need you to knowthat you’re the only one I trust to do it.”
Ayda glanced up at me, her eyes intent. “And what’s that?”
“I need you to be the one to go through Harry’s room… alone.”
Breaking eye contact, her eyes fell to her hand covering my heart. Her breathing moved her chest but never changed as she considered what I was asking her to do. “It’s the only time the Hut will ever be that empty,” she admitted without looking up.
“You’re the only one who can look through his things without anyone else knowing. I need to find something. Something that Harry kept close to him. Something he wanted us to find in plain sight. Something that gives us facts about Owen—without Owen being in this damn building. Something I can shove in that bastard’s face right before I tear the skin off his back.”
“You want me to find the files he had on Owen.” She glanced up at me again, resolution clear in her blue eyes. “I can do that. I don’t like not being there with you today, but this is important, and it’s the only opportunity to get in there.”
“I knew you’d understand.”
“What are you going to tell the guys, about my not going?”
“They won’t ask. They’ll be too engrossed in me telling them what we’re doing today. You’ll have the whole place to yourself.”
“Works for me. I’ll get dressed and be right out.” She smiled, but it didn’t meet her eyes. She didn’t like what I was asking her to do. Staying behind clearly bothered her, but she’d promised to do anything, and she was sticking by that,even if it meant watching us all ride out without her.
“I love you.”
“I love you right back.” She kissed my neck and pushed me playfully.
I stumbled back, a huff of laughter falling free before I reached for her waist, grabbed her and pulled her to me for a hungry kiss that said everything words could never say.
I loved her.
I was sorry I was asking her to do this.
She better stay safe.
I loved her a bit more.