I searched Clint’s barely parted eyes as soon as her name passed his lips. “Ayda?” I whispered.
“Yes. Ayda. Harry told me to tell you that if you go into any kind of self-pitying, grief-filled depression like last time, he’ll find a way to fuck you up from the afterlife. You’ve got one shot with her.Oneshot to make it right, and though she puts up with your constant shit, she has her limits. Don’t test those. Don’t push her. Don’t make her choose a life without you because she doesn’t want that, but she’ll fucking take it if she’s forced to. Harry saw it in her eyes. That strength. That determination. That…”
“Fire,” I finished for him, flatly.
“Fire,” Clint repeated, nodding once.
“Is that all he said?”
“Not even close.” Clint grinned.
“Didn’t think so.” I sighed. “Wasn’t exactly Harry’s way to miss an opportunity to kick my ass.”
“He had a long list of demands for you. But we’re down to four minutes and time is running out. This may be the last chance I get to speak to you or anyone before I’m thrown back in that cell again. So, I’ll just give you the last bit of advice he had to offer.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Marry her and marry her quick. Things are about to get messy. Marry her because you love her. Marry her so she doesn’t have to ever testify against you. Marry her because she’s strong enough to handle it. Marry her because you’re too goddamn weak without her. Most of all… marry her because she’s got the ass of a fucking angel and if anyone deserves to have that mouth around their dick for the rest of their life…” Clint paused and sucked in a breath, speaking on the exhale. “Harry thinks it’s you. You’ve suffered enough. Cling onto that good soul of hers.”
I could hear every word as though it was Harry’s voice delivering it.
I felt every punch to the gut and every echo of his laughter, followed by his haunting cough and know-it-all smile. I felt everything. Everything I’d tried to ignore, all the grief I’d tried to drown, all the emotion I’d tried to temper down. It rose. All of it. It rose until my eyes were coated in unshed tears and no amount of jaw ticking could control the way my arms shook or the way my chin trembled.
The last thing I heard before I was ushered out of the room by Eric was Clint reminding me that Harry had tried to settle all our old scores so I could go on to make a better life.
The only thing I knew for certain was that I had to get back to the club.
Quick.
I needed her.
Eric’s eyes were burning holes into my head as I backed my bike up next to his and tried to control my emotions.
“Drew…”
His voice cut through my thoughts like a knife through a cake.
“What?” I snapped, scowling his way. “Why are you even fucking here? You’re everywhere.”
“Because you need me.”
“I don’t need shit from you.” It was a lie. I had needed him, and I needed him still. I just couldn’t figure out why… why I couldn’t let him go when I’d lived without him for so long already.
“It’s okay to cry for Harry,” he said softly.
“Have you?”
Eric’s eyes stared into mine. “Repeatedly.”
“And here I was thinking you’d switched off your emotions years ago.”
“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Drew.”
“At this point, I’m not sure I ever want to. I can’t be disappointed again. It stings too damn much.”
Then I tore away, leaving him to stare at the dust my tires had kicked up, and I rode through the streets of Babylon like the man I was—one desperately trying to find the anchor in his life.
She wasn’t at The Hut when I got there, and I didn’t have the patience to try and chase her around the entire town, tracking her down.