“If you need anything at all…”
“Same goes for you and the guys.”
Nodding, Jedd dropping his hand, headed to the door, and disappeared through it, leaving me more tired, confused and exhausted than I'd been before his visit.
Chapter Eight
DREW
Iknew the second I let her in things wouldn’t be so black, white, and red anymore. It was what had scared me the most, and now there I was, feeling tired for the first time in weeks. Exhausted, actually. Nothing had kept my mind busy all day. No amount of aggression or fantasies of death and destruction could perk me up. I was fucked. Mentally. Physically.
Emotionally.
Just admitting that to myself made the old me cringe deep inside the recesses of my mind. The feared Drew Tucker of old had finally turned into a bit of a pussy who recognized his inner feelings. Go figure.
Not even the whiskey helped me that night. She was all I wanted and needed to hear. I didn’t plan on telling her where I was or what I was currently staring at as I leaned my ass against my bike, feet kicked out, shoulders relaxed, and pushed the call button over her name, bringing the phone to my ear and pressing my cheek against it.
“Drew?” Her voice was hoarse and filled with sleep.
“Hey,” I said roughly, practically a whisper.
There was a short silence, followed by a rustling as she moved. “You okay?”
I sighed, clearly feeling sorry for myself, and narrowed my eyes on the building in front of me. “No.”
“Can I help?”
“No. Maybe. I just like your voice.”
There was a slight hum of satisfaction on the other end of the line as she absorbed the words. “I’m glad you called me. Do you want some company?”
“You want the truth?”
“I always want the truth. Even if it hurts,” Ayda trailed off into a whisper at the end.
“And that’s my problem. Hurting you isn’t an option, so being with you is dangerous right now.” I smirked lazily, my eyes closing as I tried to make humor of the stab in my chest. “Take a look in the mirror. I’m sure my fingerprints on your body tell you that without me having to.”
“I can handle a few bruises. Have you considered that this distance is hurting me more than your fingers on my body ever could?” She sighed, and I could almost imagine her hand running through her hair in frustration. “You didn’t hurt me.”
“I know what I’m doing to you,” I said flatly. I saw that pain and ache in her eyes every day. “I’m just an unstable fuck. Sometimes, I… I scare the shit out of myself, Ayda.”
“You’re grieving, but I don’t have the sense to be afraid of you. I love you too much to think any different. You want blood for Harry, and I can’t fault you for that, but Drew, don’t get caught. He went in there to make sure you didn’t. Be careful with the last gift he gave you.”
“Sometimes your voice pisses me off, too. You know that, right?” I flared my nostrils and swallowed the guilt again.
“I know you like the challenge.”
“I love it,” I whispered. “I love you.”
“I love you, too. So much.” There was a moment of silence before she inhaled. “Tate broke some kid’s nose at school today.”
“Yeah?” My brows rose with surprise.
“The kid said something that got under his skin. So, of course, he thought I was going to chew him out.”
“Getting tired of telling grown men how to behave, darlin’?”
She let out a huff of a laugh, and I could hear the smile in her voice as she answered. “I can’t stop any of you doing what you do best, but I can sure as hell nag you into being more careful about the execution of it.”