“I can’t do that.”
My shy and sweet cousin, who had grown fierce since she’d been with Gavril, slapped her hand against the table. “We’re not going to win this latest thing solely because of you, and we’re not going to lose it without you,” she said. “Sorry to dent your ego, but it’s true. What’s also true is that if you want to keep Clem, you need to put her first.”
She stared at me, daring me to disagree. I thought of Dan, who had stayed with Paisley in Santa Barbara. Of Lev, who’d dipped out of a fight last week because his little son Artem had a fever. Of Aleks himself, who had canceled a meeting two days ago because his daughter Alina had a dance recital. The rest of us filled in without complaint, understanding completely.
“Family comes first,” Lilia said, echoing my thoughts.
“And Clem is my family now,” I said.
She smiled triumphantly. “I knew you’d get it eventually.”
She was right, and while it did dent my ego the tiniest bit, we had enough manpower that I could step out of the fight fora while. There was no reason to risk this marriage. I wanted so badly to work for a fight that wasn’t going anywhere.
And damn it, I did want this marriage to work. It was real, so real. Even if Clem still didn’t realize it yet.
Chapter 21 - Clem
I arrived at the house earlier than Rurik and hadn’t seen him since he got back to the office after having lunch with his cousin Lilia. He told me he had a dozen things he needed to take care of, none of which needed my help. The mischievous smile he kept trying to hide led me to believe a surprise was in store, but I tried to shove those wishful feelings aside.
I’d been wishing for a lot lately, and now that I was home alone for a few minutes, I paused at one of the fake wedding pictures I hung on the wall in the entryway. We looked so happy together, but it was only because we had dissolved into laughter at my phone, which kept taking the pictures before I could get back into frame. Half our shots had me diving next to him, looking like I was running from a fire, and when he decided he could do a better job in beating the timer, the results were even funnier.
But we finally got it right, and anyone could be fooled into believing our marriage was real. With a sigh of regret I had no right to feel, I went to the library to unwind before Rurik got home. I was grateful to be staying in such a nice place when I should have been out in the cold, once we didn’t have to put on a show for the Koboyashi’s during their visit.
I should have been wondering how to bring that up, but since Rurik hadn’t mentioned anything about me moving out, I kept my mouth shut. My apartment still wasn’t ready, and no one at the rental office could give me a firm date. There was no denying this was better than any hotel.
He burst into the library about a half an hour later, a smile so wide it set my heart fluttering like hummingbird wings. “We’re going to Tokyo,” he announced, sweeping a yellow satinkimono out of a shopping bag and draping it next to me on the chair. “I can’t wait to see you in that.”
Squealing with delight, I jumped up to hug him, but froze in his arms as he told me we’d be leaving the day after tomorrow. “So soon?” I asked, fighting the churning in my stomach.
Oh God. What an idiot I was. I had never left the States in my life, and I didn’t have a passport. I pulled away, panic rising in my chest, snuffing out the happy pattering wings and turning my excitement to cold fear.
This trip wasn’t just important; it was huge. We could finally settle everything with the Koboyashi Corp and clear the path to import that game system, which was going to make Gavrik Imports millions upon millions of dollars. Rurik was so excited that he didn’t notice my sudden trepidation, going on and on about what we’d do when we weren’t meeting with Shin and Erina. Since they’d left, we’d already expanded into talking about a possible partnership with them for the first right of refusal on any of their new products.
And I just ruined everything.
I pressed my hands against my stomach to calm the roiling waves and blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry,” I said, backing away.
We’d had our little arguments, but this was the first time I had ever been responsible for something going terribly wrong. Big time, massively wrong. In my experience, that had never worked out well for me in the past. This wasn’t forgetting to order extra pepperoni on a pizza, or not showing up on time. This was a multi-million-dollar snafu that could finally set Rurik off.
Because didn’t they always end up going off?
No, no, this wasn’t the same. But what if it was? What if it was worse?
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated, trying to get myself under control before a full-on panic attack made him angrier.
“What’s wrong?” Rurik asked, reaching for me as I kept stumbling backward. “Clem, why are you apologizing?”
I blinked a few times, trying to bring myself back to the present. This was Rurik, calm and unflappable. Not my ex. I was only freaking out because I still wasn’t over the near certainty that I saw him at that store a couple of weeks ago. Nothing bad was going to happen when I admitted I just ruined everything, right?
“I—I don’t have a passport,” I said. “I’ve never had one. I’m so sorry, Rurik. I should have applied for one, but I didn’t—”
“Clem,” he said, loud to my ears, but my own voice had been rising shrilly. “That’s not a problem.”
“But we won’t be able to go now. We might lose the deal if we can’t keep the Koboyashis happy. Rurik, I’m—”
“Stop.”
He reached out for me and took me by the shoulders. I had somehow backed up all the way to the fireplace. His hands weren’t squeezing painfully; he wasn’t shaking me. For the first time, I could see how confused he looked. “That’s not the most important thing. We’re going for fun, first and foremost. And I promise, getting you a passport isn’t going to be a problem.”