I freeze.What the hell did I just do?
She’s—
Fuck.
She remains still and panting beneath me.
Wrong. This is wrong. I’ve fucked up. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
She’s beta.
She has to be.
So why the hell does it feel like?—
No. This doesn’t mean anything. It can’t.
The storm rages around us. And for the first time all night, I don’t feel in control of anything.
THIRTEEN
LANI
He pulls out with a final,low grunt – already gone from me before I can catch my breath. The sound of him fastening his clothes is barely audible beneath the relentless hammer of the rain. My body aches – shaking, stretched, still clenching around the ghost of him.
I don’t turn around.
I can’t.
By the time I manage to drag in a breath, he’s already gone. Footsteps fading into wet sand. No goodbye. No name. Just absence.
My hands sink into the cold dune beneath me as I collapse forward, breath ragged, heartbeat skidding wildly out of rhythm. I can still feel him – the imprint of his body, the bruising stretch of him inside me. The sting at my neck, still hot beneath the rain.
He never saw my face.
God help me – I made sure of it.
That was the point. Anonymous. Feral. Something outside myself. Outside the careful rules and half-truths and expectations that cling to me like skin.
But now that he’s gone, the storm feels different. Colder. Emptier.
I force myself upright, legs trembling, thighs sticky and sore. My shorts are soaked through and twisted, but I drag them back into place anyway, hands clumsy and numb. I tug my hoodie down, shielding myself as best I can, and start the long walk back.
Every step feels heavier than the last.
By the time I reach the cottage, I’m shaking so badly my teeth chatter. The key slips in the lock twice before I manage to turn it. Warm air rushes over me as I stumble inside, and the contrast makes my head spin. I lock the door behind me and lean against it, sliding down until I’m sitting on the floor, soaked through and shaking.
I don’t cry.
I don’t laugh.
I just sit there, lungs burning, body humming like it’s been struck by lightning.
Eventually, I manage to stand.
I should sleep.
Instead, I shower.