There’s also a voice in my head that tells me Lani could be useful, could be the key we need to finally get through to Old Doris. After all, Lani’s just passing through this small town. She’ll be leaving soon enough, no harm done.
But as we reach her grandmother’s house, I can’t help but feel a sense of longing to stay and protect her. To make sure nothing ever touches her again. To know she’s behind a locked door tonight instead of out here dealing with people like that.
It’s fucked up.I’mfucked up. I don’t care about chicks. Ever. Not like this. Not with this kind of bone-deep urgency. This has to be down to the blonde from last night getting my head all messed up.
Watching her walk up the steps, I realise it isn’t just the blonde from last night messing with my head. It’s Lani.
I shake myself, like that can snap me out of it. This isn’t me. I don’t chase. I don’t attach. And we haven’t even had a night together, for fuck’s sake.
But when she turns back and gives me that small, uncertain smile, I know I’m not going to be able to just walk away.
“I think I can handle the ice myself from here,” she says.
I want to argue with her, to insist she let me make sure she’s warm, that she isn’t still shaking from the cold, but I also don’t want to be a domineering asshole. I nod. “If you’re sure.”
“It’s late. I’m sure you have plans. I should get to bed.”
“If you’re sure,” I say again, sounding like a damn record stuck on repeat.
“I am. Thank you, though, Finn.”
My name in her mouth makes my muscles tense, my body reacting before my brain catches up.
“Goodnight, Lani.” I wait until she’s inside the house before I start walking back down the drive. I could just hop the fence to next door, but I feel like I need a moment alone to get my emotions back in line. Need to shake off the imaginary hold she has on me, the way it’s settling under my skin, lingering in a way that pisses me off more than it should.
The night air is cool against my skin, but it does nothing to calm the heat that’s risen in my body.
I pull out the single cigarette from my pocket and light it, taking a deep drag as I try to sort out my thoughts. My father abhors smoking so I have to hide it from him, but I can’t get through an evening in his company without needing to smoke. It’s a crutch – an unhealthy one at that – but luckily I’m free of him for three months after tomorrow. This will be my last one until he returns.
As the smoke fills my lungs and I let out a long exhale, I watch the tendrils drift up towards the star-studded night sky.Did I tell Lani my name?I’m almost sure I didn’t. But then maybe she heard my father or one of his friends use it in the restaurant. I sigh. That’s wishful thinking. Lani may have looked at me like she didn’t have a clue who I was, but I’ve been duped by actresses before. And once she laid eyes on my father, it would have become clear who I am.
Disappointment rises in place of my other emotions, unwelcome and unjustified. I tell myself it’s about manners. About not liking bullies. About being raised better than my father. Anything but the vague, uncomfortable pull I don’t have a name for yet – and don’t intend to find one for unless I have to.
I take another drag, letting the nicotine calm my nerves. I’ve always been good at compartmentalising, at keeping my emotions in check. But for some reason, Lani is different.
I hope she’s as genuine as she seemed, and that her knowledge of my name comes from an innocent reason.
I finish my cigarette and flick it away, watching as it sizzles out on the ground.Disgusting habit.Another thing my father would sneer at. I can’t wait to quit.
I know I shouldn’t get too attached. Lani is just passing through, and I have commitments. Expectations. A future mapped out in someone else’s ink. A ticking time bomb attached to a noose around my neck. My father would sayLani’sthe help. She’s not the girl for me.
Whatever she is, she’s tempting. Too alone for someone like her – the idea of that sits wrong in my chest.
But for the first time in a long time, I feel something other than apathy towards a woman.
Or maybe I just don’t recognise what this is yet.
That should probably unnerve me more than anything.
BETA BAIT
Beta Bait:Hi Lani! Thank you for signing up to Beta Bait. You’ve just entered the ultimate chase. Are you ready to play?
Beta Bait:Before we begin, let’s set the rules. Your identity remains hidden. Your words are your only weapon. And once the chase starts…there’s no turning back.
Beta Bait:First, we need to know…how do you want to be hunted?
Soft Pursuit – Flirty, teasing, a game of patience.