“I was going to call,” I say.
“I know you were. I don’t blame you. It sounds like a lot has happened in a short space of time, dear.”
There’s no accusation in it. Only patience.
For a moment I don’t know what to say. The words feel too large and too small all at once.
“I’m sorry,” I start automatically.
“For what, my darling?” she asks gently.
“For…how it ended, I guess?”
A quiet pause.
Then, softly, “You were never safe around that man. I’m the one who should be apologising.”
The simplicity of it steals the air from my lungs.
She’s never said it so plainly before. There were euphemisms. Carefully folded phrases. Observations wrapped in civility. We barely knew each other, she was careful and I was guarded.
Not today.
“You knew,” I whisper.
“I suspected,” she corrects. “I stupidly trusted that you would leave when you were ready. I should have found you sooner. I have so much to be sorry for, Lani.”
There’s no anger in her voice. Just calm certainty. And deep regret.
“I didn’t leave,” I say. “Not properly.”
“No,” she agrees. “You outgrew it. I’m only sorry I didn’t get you out sooner.”
The distinction settles into me like something precise and clean.
Outgrew.
Not escaped. Not survived.
Outgrew.
It gives me a lot to think about, but there’s no blame on her shoulders. She didn’t know.
She asks about the boys next. Not one.Allof them.
I lean back against the wall and close my eyes for a moment, letting myself smile.
“They’re…steady,” I say first, because that feels important. “It’s not chaos. It’s not madness. It’s organised. They take care of each other. And me.”
“And do you take care of them?” she asks.
“Yes.” I don’t hesitate. “They’re…more settled with me? Does that make sense? I don’t know them like you do, but from what I’ve heard, the twins barely tolerated one another when Finn wasn’t around, and Sol had almost nothing to do with any of them.”
“That sounds about right. They were definitely fractured. And now…?”
“Things are better. They still bicker, but it feels…comfortable? Like brothers, or pack I guess I should say. It’s more good-natured now. Gentler. I don’t know. It just feels right.”
She hums approvingly.