It starts feeling like failure.
The heat hasn’t broken. If anything, it’s dug in deeper, settling into her in a way that refuses to ease no matter what we give her. Kai’s edge has worn down into something sharper and more focused. Koa’s steadiness has only deepened, grounding her when she softens, holding her when she needs it. Finn?—
Finn finally stopped holding back.
I felt the shift the moment it happened. The room changed with it. The balance of everything we are locked into place in a way it hadn’t before.
All of us in.
All of us hers.
Except—
I exhale slowly, the movement careful, controlled.
Except I’m still on the outside.
Not because I haven’t tried.
I have.
Every time she settles, every time her body softens enough to invite more, I push carefully, measuring her reactions, trying to give her what she needs without overstepping what she’ll accept.
And every time?—
She shuts me down.
Not gently.
Not softly.
Lani meets me head-on every time I try to move past the limits she’s drawn around me. She’ll take my touch. Takes it easily, leaning into it, chasing it when I pull back. She lets me hold her, lets me ground her when the heat spikes too high, lets mepurrfor her until her breathing evens out and her body melts against mine like I’m something safe.
But the second I try to give her more?—
She fights.
Sharp. Immediate. Uncompromising.
“Don’t,” she snaps the last time I try, her hand braced against my chest, pushing me back just enough to make her point clear. “You’re hurt.”
“I’m fine,” I tell her, even as the pull at my side reminds me exactly how much of a lie that is.
Her eyes flash. “You’re not.”
I hold her gaze, steady, unyielding. “I can handle it.”
“Not if I make it worse,” she shoots back.
There’s no hesitation in it.
No softness.
Just…decision.
She’s protecting me.
That’s the problem.