“Oh my God. What the hell is going on with her?”
“I’m not sure, but I’ll get to the bottom of it.”
“I’m glad you didn’t tell me that shit because I would’ve snatched her ass up when I saw her.”
“Nah. She’s not worth the trouble. When we were together, I always said that if I had kids, I wanted them to be raised in a two-parent household, if possible. She knows that’s important to me and probably thought she could use Knixon to get back in my good graces, and I’d consider taking her back so we could raise Knixon together.”
“And this is the woman you wanted to marry?”
I shook my head, wanting to shake off the memories from that time in my life.
“We’d been together for a while, I thought I was in love with her, and it was time to take things to the next level. Hindsight, age, and wisdom have shown me how dumb I was.”
She laughed. “We all make mistakes, baby.”
“That’s true, but I’m glad I got it right with you.”
It had beena month since Olivia abandoned Knixon at the hotel and Knox received the paternity test results, which confirmed that he was indeed Knixon’s father. Upon receiving the news, Knox sprang into action and obtained a lawyer.
He hadn’t heard a peep from Olivia since the day of the paternity test, and his lawyer had tried every lead provided, to no avail. He’d filed for full custody and requested that Olivia’s rights be taken away, but she had a minimum of six months to reestablish contact before the courts would consider permanently terminating her rights.
To say the least, a lot had changed. Knox started football camp, which flowed right into the start of official practice. He’djust become a single father and was doing his best to navigate his new life.
He enrolled Knixon inLittle Elm Primary Academy, a private school for kindergarten through fifth grade. She had a rough start but was finally beginning to adjust. Mr. and Mrs. St. Patrick extended their visit to spend some time getting to know their granddaughter. Knixon had gotten used to their presence and was sad to see them go.
I wasn’t sure what to call myself, but I’d been doing my best to fill in the gaps in Olivia’s absence. Knixon had only asked about her sporadically so far, and I thought it was strange, but it didn’t seem like she missed her mother.
She spoke with the school psychologist once a week, and based on what she’d shared so far, it didn’t appear that Knixon was physically or sexually abused, but she did experience neglect.
Knixon told the psychologist that her mother didn’t talk to, read to, play with, feed her regularly, or do anything fun with her. She also stated that her mother didn’t like her. It had only been a month, and Knixon was only five, so there was still a lot to unpack, but she was finally coming out of her shell.
Although the situations were vastly different, I found myself comparing motherhood at sixteen to motherhood at thirty-eight. When I added in having a son versus having a daughter, the experiences were worlds apart.
Stokely ran, jumped, climbed, flipped, kicked, and screamed his way through childhood. We had two wellness checks from the Department of Children and Family Services before he turned five.
Knixon was the complete opposite, and I realized some of it stemmed from what she’d experienced so far in her young life. She liked to color, play with dolls, and often asked me to read to her.
As she began to let her guard down, I saw glimpses of a little girl who could be rambunctious if given the freedom and opportunity, and I couldn’t wait until she was comfortable enough to express herself more freely.
It was Saturday, and Nyomi’s parents had volunteered to keep the kids for the weekend. The first football game of the season was next week, and Knox and Kilo spent their Saturdays watching film, so Nyomi and I were hanging out on my patio.
The weather was perfect as nineties Hip Hop and R&B set our vibe, Mexican food filled our stomachs, and strawberry margaritas provided the perfect buzz.
“You seem happy, sis, and I’m not saying that you didn’t seem happy before, but it’s different,” Nyomi said as she sipped her drink.
“I know what you mean. There have been very few times in my life where I’ve felt unhappy, and most of those times were centered around Stokely’s raggedy ass daddy. When I decided to let go of the pipe dream of us being a family and released the guilt of not being able to give Stokely the upbringing I had, it was life changing. Choosing to be happy . . . I mean, literally making a conscious decision to choose happiness above all else was the best thing I could have done for myself.”
“I know it was, because you forced me to do the same. It took me a minute to lose the woe is me attitude, but eventually, I came around.”
“And did. We helped each other through all of life’s challenges and continued to choose happiness.”
“So, what’s different now, because your glow is almost blinding?” she asked.
“Do you really have to ask?”
“No, but I want to hear you say it.”
“Oh, you want me to say you told me so and gloat for the rest of the day.”