She shrugged. “My parents were always supportive, but I can’t lie, his actions hurt like hell. He called occasionally and came around when he was home from break until Stokely was about five. He fed me a bunch of bullshit about us getting backtogether, and I didn’t date anyone else to keep myself available for whenever he was ready. I was young, dumb, thought I was in love, and even naive enough to keep having sex with him. I eventually wised up and kept it about him and Stokely.”
“Did he have visitation and pay child support?”
“Neither. Like a dumbass, I never put him on child support. He reached out to see Stokely a few times a year. Stokely was ten when I got him a cell phone, and I was no longer the middle person. He’d tell me when his father called, or when he called his father, and how the conversation went, and that was the extent of my involvement.”
“Damn. Wassup up with these niggas not wanting to take care of their seeds? I will never understand that shit.”
“Me either, but it is what it is.”
“How is their relationship now?” I asked.
“Very surface level, but I’m tired of talking about me and his raggedy ass daddy. Why aren’t you married, or at least in a serious relationship?”
“Because the woman who could be my future wife took forever to agree to go on a date with me.”
She looked confused for a moment, then said, “Ha. Real cute.”
“I’m serious. I haven’t found a woman who intrigues me as much as you.”
“You’re probably only intrigued because I didn’t give it up the night we met, and I haven’t succumbed to your advances. Fine as you are, I’m sure women throw you their panties at hello.”
I laughed out loud at her comment because there was some truth to what she’d said.
“Sometimes I have to work to get the pussy, but that’s not why I’ve been pursuing you.”
“Oh. Are you saying you don’t want to fuck me, Knox?”
“Hell yeah, I wanna fuck you, but that’s not all I want.”
“What else do you want?”
“To get to know you.”
“What happens if we like each other?” she asked.
“Is that a serious question, because I feel like you know what happens?”
“Exclusivity, marriage, family . . .” She let her words trail off.
“Something like that.”
“If I told you that I’m not interested in any of that, would that change how you pursued me?”
I’d already imagined what life would be like with Skye by my side. Even though this was our first date, we’d shared space numerous times before. When I wasn’t flirting and saying shit to knock her off her square, I studied her.
The desire to know more about her was stronger than anything I’d ever experienced, but it seemed we wanted different things. I didn’t believe pursuing her would be in either of our best interests.
ApproximatelyOne Year Later
“I’m getting tired, sis,”I told Nyomi as we briskly walked through her subdivision.
It was Saturday morning, and I’d met her at her house to catch up while we went for a walk. She’d just finished updating me on her life, so it was my turn to unload. She pushed the stroller with her six-month-old twin boys, Kilan and Nymeer, while I walked next to her.
“Tired of what? We’ve only been walking for a few minutes,” she responded.
I was tickled by her confusion, but my statement was random, so I understood. I didn’t know what I wanted to tellher about how I’d been feeling lately. Hell, I was still trying to understand it.
“I’m tired of the dating scene.”