“So was he just messing around? He has a reputation.”
“He’s not. That’s the problem.” I take another sip of wine. “He’s not what I thought he was going to be. The reputation, the bunnies, the playboy thing, it’s all a front. Underneath that, he’s this stupidly kind, annoyingly thoughtful person who sends me coffee every morning, remembers restaurants I mention once in passing, teaches little kids how to skate, and falls asleep on the phone to my voice notes.”
“Lettie …”
“And he showed up for me, Jo. When Felix got hurt, Fish was the one who found me crying in the corridor and just held me. No questions. No agenda. He just let me fall apart. Nobody else did that. Nobody else even noticed.”
Jo is watching me with those hazel eyes that are the same as mine, and right now, they’re full of something that looks a lot like heartbreak on my behalf.
“So, you have feelings for him.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her.
“Lettie. Do you have feelings for him?” she pushes.
I take a long sip of wine. “Of course I do. He was my best friend. But it’s complicated, Jo.”
“Everything with these hockey players is complicated. That doesn’t answer my question.”
“I don’t know what I feel. All I know is that everything is a mess, and I miss him. I miss my friend. I miss the texts, the voice notes, and the stupid conversations. I miss the way he makes me laugh harder than anyone I’ve ever met.” My voice cracks on the last word, and I press my lips together hard.
“Then why did you end it?” she asks gently.
“Because I have too much to lose. You know that better than anyone.”
“I do. But, Lettie, I’m sitting here right now having just told Harper and Issy about Emmett because at some point the fear of losing him became bigger than the fear of getting caught.” She pauses. “Have you hit that point?”
“He’s blocked me, Jo. He won’t even look at me. I think we’re past the point of anything.”
“You don’t know that. You guys were good friends once. Have you spoken to him?”
I shake my head. “I really think he’s done with me.” I drain my glass. “He’s moved on. The bunnies are back. Vegas was proof of that.”
“Were you jealous in Vegas?”
I give her a knowing look. “I wanted to rip every single one of them off him with my bare hands.” The honesty shocks me. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.
Jo stares at me for a second, and then a slow grin spreads across her face. “You know, a very wise woman once told me in Vegas that the solution to all of this is to just fuck him out of your system.”
I choke on my wine. “That is not what I said.”
“That is exactly what you said.” Jo chuckles.
“That was different. That was about you and Emmett.”
“How is it different? You just told me the lines were blurring. You have feelings you won’t admit. You can’t stop thinking about him. Sounds like the same diagnosis to me.” She grins. “Pent-up sexual tension. You both need to expel it then you’ll have a clear mind.”
“Are you seriously quoting me back to myself right now?”
“Word for word.” She sips her wine, looking incredibly pleased with herself.
“I hate you.” I smile.
“No, you don’t. Look, I’m not saying it’s the answer. But you told me to stop overthinking and just do something about it. Maybe take your own advice.”
“He’s blocked me. He won’t talk to me. How exactly am I supposed to …”
“The Christmas party,” Jo says simply. “Everyone will be there. You’ll be in the same room. The champagne will be flowing. And you’ll be wearing that silver dress.”