I must make a sound which stops the kiss. Fish’s blue eyes land on mine, and a curse falls from his lips. The brunette turnsaround, and a satisfied smirk falls across her red lips. She’s excited that she’s won the prize. I don’t stay, I turn around and walk back inside on legs that feel like they belong to someone else. I walk past Marlowe, who calls my name. I walk past Pierre, who’s laughing with Issy. I walk past the ballroom, the chandeliers, the music, and the hundred-thousand-dollar woman in the red dress, and the fifty-five-thousand-dollar brunette’s empty chair.
Don’t cry. Don’t you dare cry. Not here. Not over him.
I push through the front doors, the cold night air hitting me like a wall. I suck it in, big gulps, trying to steady myself. The street is busy, taxis crawling past, the glow of the city reflecting off everything. I need to get out of here. I need to go home and get out of this dress and never think about Justin Crawford’s mouth on another woman’s lips ever again.
I step toward the curb and raise my hand for a taxi.
22
FISH
One second, I’m leaning against the terrace wall getting some air because the brunette, Tanya, has been relentless all night, and I needed five minutes without her hand on my arm or my ass. The next second, she’s in front of me, appearing out of nowhere, and before I can open my mouth, she grabs my lapels, shoves me back against the wall, and kisses me.Hard. Aggressive.Her mouth on mine, her hands fisting my jacket, her body pressing me into the stone. I’m so caught off-guard, that for a split second my brain doesn’t catch up.
Then it does.What the fuck?
I hear a sound. A gasp. A heel scraping on stone. My eyes snap open, and over Tanya’s shoulder, I see her.
Collette.
Standing at the corner of the terrace, those hazel eyes wide and filled with something that guts me on the spot. She looks like someone just put their fist through her chest.
“Shit.” The word falls out of me as I shove Tanya off. Not gently. Not politely. I push her away from me hard enough that she stumbles back a step on her heels. But Collette is alreadygone. She’s turned and disappeared back inside, and all I can see is the flash of her black dress vanishing through the glass doors.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I round on Tanya. My heart is hammering, my hands are shaking, and I can still taste her lipstick on my mouth. It makes me want to scrub my face raw.
Tanya straightens her dress, completely unbothered, that satisfied smirk still sitting on her red lips like she’s won something. “Relax. It was just a kiss.”
“You didn’t ask. You just grabbed me and shoved me against a wall.”
“I thought you’d be into it. I’ve heard the rumors.” She shrugs, running a finger along her bottom lip. “The reviews certainly suggested you would be.”
The reviews, the fucking Reddit reviews. The thing that follows me everywhere, that reduces me to a body and a rating and a reputation I can never outrun. My jaw tightens so hard I feel it in my temples.
“I also thought you two were just friends,” she says, nodding toward where Collette was standing. “That’s what you two say online.”
“We are.”
“Then what’s the problem? You’re single. I’m single.” She takes a step toward me. “I paid fifty-five thousand dollars for tonight. The least you can do is …”
“The least I can do?” I repeat, and my voice drops to something cold and flat that doesn’t sound like me. “You think because you wrote a check, you own my mouth? That you can put your hands on me whenever you feel like it?” Her smirk falters. Good. “You don’t own me. Nobody fucking owns me. Not the bunnies, not the internet, not you.” I’m in her space now, and she takes a step back because whatever she sees on my face has finally broken through that bulletproof confidence. “You canhave your damn money back. I’ll have the team refund every cent. And I’ll donate the fifty-five thousand of my own money to the charity, so those kids don’t lose out because you thought buying a dance with me entitled you to whatever the fuck you wanted.”
“You’re overreacting,” she says, but her voice has lost its edge.
“Am I? How would you feel if some guy you barely knew shoved you against a wall and kissed you without asking? Would you be overreacting then? She doesn’t answer. Her jaw works like she’s trying to find a comeback that isn’t there. “That’s what I thought.” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. Her lipstick comes off on my skin like a stain. “Don’t come near me again.”
I leave her on the terrace, and push through the glass doors back into the ballroom. The music is loud, people are dancing, everyone is having a great time, because why wouldn’t they be? My eyes scan the room for the content girls’ table. Marlowe, Billie, and Zara are all there. No Collette.
Marlowe catches my eye, and she looks confused. “Have you seen Collette?” I ask.
“She just left. Walked right past me without stopping. Is everything okay?”
No. Nothing is okay.
I don’t answer her as I move quickly through the ballroom, dodging dancers and sidestepping waiters, not caring who sees me because the only thing that matters right now is finding her before she disappears into this city and decides I’m exactly the man she always thought I was. Pierre is at his table laughing with Issy. He doesn’t notice me pass. Felix and Harper are on the dance floor. Emmett and Sully are nowhere to be seen. Good. I don’t need an audience for this. I push through the front doors, and the cold hits me. The street is busy, taxis and town carscrawling past, my breath visible in the night air. I scan left, then right, and I see her.
She’s at the curb, one hand raised for a taxi, shivering because she didn’t bring a jacket, and even from twenty feet away I can see her shoulders shake. She’s crying. Collette St. Pierre is standing on a Manhattan sidewalk crying because of something she thinks I did, and every cell in my body is screaming at me to fix it.
“Collette!” I scream out to her.