“I’m close,” I warn him.
“Me too. Come with me.” He reaches between us and presses his thumb against my clit, and I shatter. My whole body clenches around him, and he follows me over with a groan that sounds like it started in his chest and ended in his soul. I feel him pulse inside me, warm and real, and the intimacy of it makes fresh tears spill down my cheeks. He collapses beside me and pulls me against him. We’re both breathing hard, both wrecked, both crying a little bit, even though neither of us will admit it in the morning.
“That was ...” he starts.
“Yeah.”
“Different,” he adds.
“The best kind of different.”
He presses his lips to my temple. “Well, now our marriage is consummated, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” This makes us both laugh.
I trace my finger over his chest. “Justin?”
“Mm?”
“I don’t regret it. Not for a second.” I need him to know that.
He tightens his arms around me. “Neither do I.”
We lie there in the dark, tangled together, his hand running lazy circles on my back. The city is quiet at this hour, just us, the hum of the heating, and the weight of what we’ve done settling around us like a blanket.
“When do you leave for Maine?” I ask.
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
“I leave for Quebec in the morning.” The words taste bitter. I just married this man, and in a few hours, I have to get on a plane and pretend none of this happened. Sit with my brothers and my mother, eat Christmas dinner, open presents, and act like I’m the same Collette who left New York when I’m not.
I’m Mrs. Crawford now.
And nobody can know.
“It’s going to be the longest three days of my life,” he says, kissing my temple.
“Me too. We can do this. We have forever, we can handle a couple of days.”
“Maine isn’t far from Quebec, I could …”
I shake my head. “How would you explain that to my family?”
“I don’t know, but we could make it work.”
I love his enthusiasm, but … “Next year we can do Christmas together as a family.”
He stills. “As a family? You think I just knocked you up tonight?”
“No … I mean …”
“Because if you want, I can fuck you again and fill you up. Maybe if you’re pregnant, your brothers will have to accept us.”
“Justin!”
“What?” He gives me a heated look. “The thought of knocking you up has my dick hard.” I stare at him as a myriad of thoughts rush through my mind. “Lettie? Shit. Did I say the wrong thing? I was only joking. We can have kids whenever you want. It’s your body, your choice,” he says, panicked.
This makes me laugh. This man is the sweetest thing. “I want kids. Just realized it’s now a possibility, and it took me a minute.”
“Whenever you are ready, know that I am too,” he says, snuggling in.