“What was that?” He sighs. “Speak up, Gianna. What did I just say?”
I can’t stop myself from flinching. “I asked… Do I not get a say in what I do?”
“With me? No. You will obey me. That’s what obeying me means. You will bend to my every whim. You will be mine. This is how this marriage will work. Is that understood?”
“I…” The hardness in his eyes speaks to no disagreements so I quickly nod. “Yes.” But I know in this moment that Nico is going to be a problem. Francesca has always controlled my life and now it seems Nico wants to do the same. I just want to be free.
I can’t marry this man.
I stay quiet the entire time Nico stays for dinner but the moment he leaves, I turn to Enzo and my aunt. “I can’t marry him.”
“What are you saying?” Francesca asks. “I do not understand the words coming out of your mouth right now.”
“He wants to control me. Please, brother. I can’t marry him.”
Enzo frowns before sighing. “I want you to be happy, Gianna. Of course I do. But you already agreed to this. I already gave Nico my word for your hand in marriage. I’ve never gotten the sense that he was bad. Are you just nervous? Is that it?”
“Would you stop this wedding from happening if I asked?”
“Of course,” he says without hesitation. “But Nico will be offended. It could hurt us even more. I’m not someone who can go back on my word. It’s not a good look for me as a mafia boss. It will make my men not trust me. So I am asking you this, Gianna. Are you telling me you don’t want to marry him? Because I will tell Nico that you can’t marry him but you have to be sure.”
I’m the one who hesitates. Francesca is glaring at me with confusion. Of course she wouldn’t understand why I don’t want to marry Nico.
But… Enzo makes a good point. He can’t go back on his word without consequences and he already told Nico yes.
Because I agreed to it.
Maybe a marriage to Nico won’t be so bad. He’s a little controlling but that doesn’t make him a monster.
“I’ll marry him,” I say with a duck of my chin.
“Good,” Francesca says. “That’s settled. I thought we could go wedding dress shopping this weekend.” She pats my arm and it takes everything inside of me to not flinch. “You made the right decision.”
If I did do that, then why does it feel like the wrong one?
Kira, my brother’s wife, tries calling me but I ignore her. If I talk to her, I’ll confess my true feelings about not wanting to marry Nico and she’ll tell my brother and then everything will go badly.So it’s better I keep my mouth shut. It’s better I just do what others tell me and do my duty.
It’s better, it’s better, it’s better, I repeat in my head like a mantra. Francesca and I are in a bridal shop, looking through dresses. She’s babbling on about which dress will look best on me and I can only nod in agreement even if I don’t agree. Francesca will always get her way in the end.
“She’ll try that on,” Francesca says to the sales woman, pointing at a beautiful dress on a mannequin in the center of the store.
“That’s are most expensive dress,” the sales woman says.
“Yes. So it’s perfect.”
“Of course.” The sales woman leaves to go get the dress.
“It will look great on you,” Francesca tells me. While the dress is stunning – a draped skirt and a sleeveless sweetheart neckline – I’m not sure it’s my kind of dress. I’ve always preferred modesty where I could hide myself away. But this is the sort of dress that causes everyone to look at you and that’s the last thing I want.
“You’re so pretty,” Francesca says, pushing my brown hair over my shoulder. “You should show off your looks more. It’s wasted on you at the moment.”
“I’m sorry,” I say with a duck of my chin.
“I always know what’s best for you, Gianna.”
The sales woman comes out the dress and we go into the changing room. At least this gives me a moment to breathe away from my aunt.
Once I’m in the dress, I’m startled by how beautiful I look. I’ve always been told by the people in my life that I’m pretty but with my aunt’s constant criticisms, sometimes it’s hard to remember that fact.