I return home to Gianna. That thought process makes me stop in my tracks. Home. This isn’t my home. Not in this house Marco owns and definitely not with Gianna. She can never be my home.
Yet, I want to see her. I feel desperate for it.
I shove the chair away and rip open the door. She’s sleeping. Never have I seen anyone look as peaceful as Gianna does when she’s asleep. It makes me want nothing more than to lay her back and have my way with her. To take her clothes off and show her pleasure. Clearly, her fiancé never gave her any considering it was an arranged marriage.
But I could show her what it’s like to be taken by a man.
Without stopping, I go over to the bed and stare down at her. As if she can sense my presence, Gianna wakes up. She gasps but then relaxes after she sees me. Do I not scare her? I should terrify her.
“Will?” She sits up, wrapping the blanket around her chest, even though she’s fully clothed. “What’s wrong? Why do you look like that?”
“Like what?”
“You’re breathing heavy. You’re eyes…”
“What about my eyes.”
“They’re wild,” she whispers, her face flushing.
“Why are you making me feel this way?” I admit more to myself than to her.
She blinks. “What way?”
I shake my head, turning away from her. I can’t tell her what I’m feeling. It will only make things more complicated. “I couldn’t kill a woman tonight.”
“Isn’t that… a good thing? Why do you sound bothered by that?”
“Because I was supposed to kill her!” I shout. Gianna gasps, flinching away from me. I take a deep breath and run my handdown my face. “I was supposed to kill her,” I say in a calmer tone. “And I didn’t.”
“Who?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.” I can tell Gianna is trying to sound strong and brave. It only makes her cuter. And that’s the problem: I shouldn’t be finding her cute.
“Just some woman. I was hired to kill her and I didn’t.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Gianna…”
“No. You came in here. You told me you didn’t kill this woman. You don’t get to just walk back out of here and not explain it to me. Why didn’t you kill her?”
I sigh, all the energy leaving me as I slump against the wall. “Because all I could think about was you.”
She sucks in a breath. “What? I don’t understand.”
“All I could think is that you’re an innocent and she was innocent and didn’t deserve to die. I never would have hesitated before but I hesitated. Why did I fucking hesitate?”
“Will… if you’re having doubts, you can let me go. Bring me back to Enzo. He’ll help you. Pay you until you’re set for life so you never have to work as a hitman again. It’s a good deal.”
“Your brother will kill me the second he sees me.”
“Not if I explain things to him first.”
“No,” I say with a definitive shake of my head. “I can’t. I am not going to risk my life. I’ve always looked out for myself and I’ll continue to do it.”
“Will…”