As I drag my suitcase down the pathway, I don’t even need to think about where to go. My feet take me there instinctually, as if they’ve been waiting all this time to bring me back.
Five minutes later, I’m sitting on the edge of the platform, legs dangling over the tracks of the abandoned train.
I can’t help but think about the last time I was here. My sixteenth birthday. After another similar fight with my father, I found myself here. My safe place. My refuge. And another thing that made it special was the fact that Arden found me. He gave me my first kiss. And whether he knew it or not, he jumpstarted my affection for him. I knew I didn’t love him when we were kids, it was more infatuation but now, being with him the way we were, showing him all sides of myself and seeing him. I know now that I definitely feel something real for him. Something very very close to love.
If only I could talk to him.
“You know, it’s dangerous to sit by the train tracks.” His voice hits me, catching me completely by surprise, and I jump almost entirely out of my skin. My jolt enough that Arden feels the need to reach out and grab my arm to steady me, making sure I don’t fall onto the track.
While I catch my breath, Arden sits down next to me. “Well, this is familiar,” he comments so casually that I let out a loud laugh in response. “Hi, brat.”
“Hi.”
“I would ask what you’re doing here but I went to your house first so I knew.”
“I’m sorry you did that.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” I look over at him. “And I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Late?”
Arden hands me a package that I didn’t realize he was holding. It’s a bag with white tissue paper inside. A birthday gift.
“You think I would miss your birthday?”
When I look back at him, he’s grinning like a goddamn fool and I’ve never wanted to kiss someone more in my life. But I’m not sure where we are right now and so I hold myself back, even though it physically pains me.
Looking back at the bag, I waste no time ripping the paper out and pulling out the gift. It’s in a box that says “fragile” across the top so I move a little bit more delicately as I open it.
My breath catches in my throat. It’s the picture of my grandma and I that I kept on my dresser. But it’s in a beautiful ornate frame made of thousands of little rocks and pebbles.My collection.
I’m absolutely speechless. Not only had he paid attention to the stories I told him about my grandma, he took something important to me and made it sacred. Tears form in my eyes but I blink them away, not allowing myself to miss a moment of this beauty.
“Arden, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything.”
I blink the tears away and put the frame gently back into the box and bag. “Actually, I do. I have a lot of things to say. I’m so sorry about the way I reacted last week. I completely misunderstood the situation and I overreacted.”
“Dani—”
“No, please,” I grip his hand. “Let me get this out. I should’ve listened to you. I should’ve let you explain but I just get so headstrong when something bothers me, I can’t see past it.”
“I understand. Trust me, I do the same thing. Even more so. Which is why I’m in therapy.”
It’s the first time he’s said those words to me. And I can tell now it’s time for him to take the floor so I sit back and give him the space he needs.
“I should’ve told you what was going on. But I know your father and I know how you feel about him and I didn’t want you to think that I would ever behave anything like what he does. So I wanted to be perfect before I asked you to be mine. Because you’re perfect. And you deserve nothing less than perfect.”
“I’m far from perfect and so are you but that’s what I love about us. We are messy and chaotic. We fight and we make up in explosive ways. But that’s us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“I’m working hard, Danika. I’m working on myself so that I can deserve you.”
I reach now and grab both his hands now. “You are deserving. You are so incredibly deserving.” I can’t stop myself from reaching out and kissing him. He lets me, sinking into our embraces easily. Arden’s arms wind around my waist and he scoots back enough to pull me on top of his lap. My legs squeeze either side of his thighs and our tongues mesh together. We are a mess of passion, as we usually are, but this time is so different. Something has changed between us. There’s still so much to talk about, specifics to work out but this moment right now, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
“Arden,” I moan as he pulls his mouth from mine and his lips find their way to my neck. He laps my neck with kisses and it takes everything I have in me not to tear his clothes off right here and now.
“Arden,” I groan this time as he tortures me. “Wait, we need to—” He cuts me off with his mouth on mine. He kisses the protest right out of my mouth and I let him. I can’t wait until we’re alone to finish what we’ve started here but until then…