And then after every time, he looks at me like he wants me to tell him the same, and the truth is, I don’t have a single fuckin’ clue. Never really thought to read for leisure. Never really thought to look at the stars except to use them to find my way. And as for the songs…there’s one in particular he keeps humming, one I feel like I know but can’t place.
Rational thing would be to simply ask him what it is, but then he might take that as encouragement, and God knows that is thelastthing he needs.
“Wondering if you might have room for us for a bit, Dolly?” Cypress is asking, leaning against the porch as if he doesn’t have a care in the world. “Found ourselves in a bit of trouble over in Soldana.”
“Should’ve known that was you,” she says, and I detect more amusement in her tone than disapproval. “Was sure it was, but then the rumors said there weretwoinvolved.” She glances back at me, openly taking me in from head to foot. “Where’d you find him?”
“He robbed my employer,” I say, past done with being talked about like I’m not here.
“I see.” One of her thin eyebrows rises. “With your help?”
“No,” I snap. “Wasn’t part of that. I only—”
“You only came here with him,” she counters. “Rather than staying with your—I would assume now—formeremployer.”
“He saved my life,” Cypress explains before I can, a touch of something in his voice that makes me shift my weight from foot to foot. “Was all very heroic.”
I roll my eyes, but the corner of the old woman’s mouth is tipping up now. “So to be sure I understand,herobbedyour employer, and rather than prevent it from happening,youhelped him get away? Likely putting your own life on the line in the process? That about cover it?”
“Feels like we’re leaving out a few details there,” I mutter, grinding a pebble beneath the toe of my boot into the dirt. “Important ones.”
“Undoubtedly,” she says, and I catch her eyes flicking back and forth between Cypress and me, and…Christ. Not again.
“Ma’am,” I start to say, “whatever it is you’re thinking—”
“Right now, I’m thinking you boys could use a warm meal. And a bed,” she says, turning away and walking back up the stairs with her cane thudding along on each step. “I’ll let you pick which one. Cypress, you remember where everything is.”
“I’ll take my usual,” he replies, jogging up the stairs so he can open the door for her. “Aiden will want to sleep on the ground floor. Back bedroom will do. We’ll go get the horses settled and then we’ll be in.” The old woman nods and disappears into the house before he looks back at me, finding me staring while frozen at the bottom of the stairs. “What? No good?”
“Fine,” I say, frowning. “How did you know I’d want to sleep on the ground floor?”
“Closest to an exit,” he says with a shrug. “Easiest escape.”
“Right,” I say, folding my arms across my chest. “But wouldn’t you prefer the same?”
The corner of his mouth twitches. “Are you suggesting we share?”
“No.” I take my hat off to run a hand through my hair. “I’msuggestingthat it might also be the room you’d prefer, and I don’t want to impose. You’re clearly more familiar here and—fuck’s sake, I’m trying to have…some fuckingmanners. You familiar with the idea?”
“Why?” He saunters to the edge of the porch, looking down at me with that fucking smirk. “Would it help if I saidplease?”
I could kill him. I really could. After two weeks in constant close proximity, it would be so goddamn easy to charge up these stairs, get my hands on him, push him up against the side of the house, and…and…
I clear my throat, taking a few cautious steps back while grasping my hat in front of me with both hands, and I’d swear he almost looks disappointed again. Like when he’d come to stand at Maddock’s table and I hadn’t gone after him, knowing it wouldn’t end well if I did.
This wouldn’t either. And all his teasing aside, hemustrealize how bad of an idea it would be to let this veer off course any more than it has already—not that there’sanythingto veer into. At least not on my side. Probably not on his either. Not really.
It’d be dangerous to blur lines with each other—to allow something that could end up being a distraction. We can’t afford that. Not now. Not ever.
“Listen,” I say at last, letting out a sigh. “You want that room for yourself or not?”
He frowns, shaking his head. “It’s not my preference.”
“What is?” I ask, certain that I should know this detail about him if he knows it about me. “Where you prefer to sleep?”
“Outside,” he says as he comes down the stairs. “When the sky is clear.”
“Then why the fuck are we here?” I ask, gesturing toward the house. “This was your idea. We could have kept moving.”