I wrung my hands in my lap. “You think so?” If that was the case, had Grey ever fooled around with other guys? He’d havetold me, right? “But this morning, he said he blacked out after we went outside.”
“How convenient.” After setting his empty smoothie on the coffee table, he sank into the couch. “He messed around with you, and he’s having a hard time coming to terms with his new sexuality, so he’s on a date to prove he’s not queer. That’s all it is.”
With a slow nod, I inhaled through the pain in my chest. Hell, it felt like my insides were in a vice grip. Was I jealous of Carrie? Probably. But Grey was my friend, not my lover. Or had I been fooling myself all along? “Did I wreck everything? Will I ever get him back?”
“I don’t know. That’s up to you.” He shifted, lifting his leg onto the cushion between us. “Talk to him. You both have to acknowledge what happened. If he’s struggling with it, I’m sure we can set up a call with Eli. The dude helped so many when he was here, working at the LGBTQ center.”
“Yeah, that’s true.” I ground my molars. But could I revert to a platonic friendship with Grey, or did I want more now that I’d had him? Fuck me, I wanted more. My stomach churned. How would I live with him the entire school year if he stayed distant? It would ruin me.
“What’s going through your head, Malik? You look sick or something.” He uncurled his arm across the back cushions, his hand landing behind my shoulder.
“I fucked up big time, Tex. I think I…I think I want to be with him for real. Not just friends.” An ache rolled through my chest, and I grabbed the throw pillow next to me, hugging it. “What’ll I do if he doesn’t want me back?” The corners of my eyes pricked as a lump formed in my throat.
“Shit.” Tex shifted closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his wide chest. “I think he has feelingsfor you too. I think he just needs to figure his shit out and he’ll come back to you. Have faith.”
“How can I?” My voice cracked. This was horrible. He was pretending nothing had happened, out on a fucking date with Carrie, while I worried and hurt so fucking bad.
“You can, and you will. Give it time. Be the caring, doting friend you’ve always been. If he’s going through some rough shit, he’ll come back to you. You’re the one he leans on. Remember that.”
I nodded against his shoulder, sniffling. “Yeah, okay.”
“But you have to talk to him and acknowledge what happened. Maybe not today, but you can’t allow this to fester.” He rubbed the back of my head. “You can’t let this affect your game.”
“You’re right.” Lifting off him, I swiped the wetness from my eyes. We had to resolve this before the season started. “Thanks, man.” I squeezed his hand.
“Anytime.” His breath caught. “And see if Grey will talk to Eli.”
“I will.” As my chest relaxed, I inhaled deeply. Now, I play the waiting game.
SIX
GREY (GREYSON)
Did Malik buy my story? I had drunk a lot and hell, I’d been drunk as fuck last night. But not drunk enough to pass out. Not drunk enough to…I ground my molars as my cock swelled with the memory flashes of Malik on top of me, his amazing kisses and the way his perfect dick had rubbed against mine. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, my hands aching, as I turned onto Mill Avenue.
Outside, the noonday sun shone on the brick buildings, so bright it washed the colors from the trees poking out of the sidewalks. This might suck, walking around in hundred-and-ten-degree heat. But leaving the house and getting away from Malik was the only option. Thank God Carrie had returned my text and accepted my apology for being a shit last night.
I drove the car down a side street and into a multi-level parking garage. She’d suggested I meet her for lunch at a wine bar named Postinos. Sounded good enough for me. I liked wine. Almost as much as my dick liked Malik? There’d been parking at the wine bar, but I refused to leave my baby sitting in this intense sunshine. I’d have to buy a sunshade for the front window and maybe a car cover for when I had to park in the lots at school.
I parked and stepped out of my car, locking it with a touch of my finger on the door handle sensor. The heat enveloped me. It was like a fucking sauna, and I was in the shade. I hitched my linen shorts up my hips and tucked my thin blue shirt in better. I had to look nice for Carrie. And somehow, had to prove my preference for women. Not men. Not Malik. Fuck.I can’t be gay or bi. Dad will disown me.It would be bad enough if I got an NFL contract. But his finding out I was queer? In his eyes, I’d be a disgrace to the family.
I strolled down the concrete steps to the sidewalk and checked my phone for the location of this place. According to my map, it was two buildings down. I wiped a bead of sweat as it trickled down my cheek. Fuck, now I’d be sweaty. I ducked into the shade of the buildings as I walked. Shade was like gold out here.
I hustled to the squat building housing the wine bar, a quaint-looking place in clay brick with a modern vibe. My gaze caught a wall of vegetation surrounding an outdoor patio with yellow umbrellas covering the tables. A misting system sprayed along the edges of the building. As if anyone in their right mind would sit on the damn patio this time of year, misters or no misters.
With a smirk, I swung the glass door open, and a blast of cool air hit me. Maybe we’d spend the entire day in here drinking wine and eating appetizers. Fuck going back outside. I scanned the place, set up with comfy couches, lounge chairs and coffee tables, like someone’s kitschy home, or something I’d see in Soho. Carrie knew how to select the right place. It wasn’t some college dive.
Carrie sat on a loveseat toward the center of the room, holding red wine in a fat glass, and waved with her free hand.
I passed the hostess stand and strutted to her. “Hey.” I gave her my most charming smile. “How are you?” As I dropped inbeside her, I kissed her cheek. Her flowery perfume invaded my senses. Had she bathed in it? I trailed my gaze along her cropped white top and then to the flowered mini skirt covering her hips.
“I’m great. How were you feeling this morning?” She freed a quick giggle. “You were pretty drunk last night.”
“Yeah, I haven’t drunk that much in a long time. I think the heat got to me too. I’m not used to it.” As the server approached the table, I ordered the same wine she had, a cabernet. It always boded well to order the same drink. Then she’d think I trusted her judgement.
She shifted closer to me on the couch and rested her hand on my thigh. “How’s your friend Malik doing? Before you left, I wasn’t sure if you were holding him up or he was holding you up against the wall outside.” She sipped her wine, her gaze fixed on me.
“Yeah, sorry, but I remember little of that.”Lie.I remembered it all. Every touch, the firm grip of his arms around me, the scent of his soap. An ache wormed through my chest. I clenched my jaw for a beat.