The phone was cold in my hands as I dialed Marie’s number that evening, my heart pounding against my ribs. When she answered, I introduced myself and divulged to her the details of Jack’s plan. Naturally, she was horrified. After all, Ellie was only nineteen, and with a promising career ahead of her, she was far too young to be tied down by marriage. Before we hung up, Marie thanked me for the information and promised to handle the situation.
The following day crept by, the minutes feeling like hours as I waited to see what Marie would do. After dinner, I took the path to Clara’s house and waited at the edge of the woods. The sun had nearly set when I finally saw Marie's car pull into the driveway. I took a deep breath, my heart in my throat. As soon as she stepped out of the vehicle, I could see she was angry. Her face was hardened, her eyes filled with determination as she marched toward the house. She paused by the front door, straightening her shoulders before ringing the bell. Clara soon answered, her face dropping at the sight of her sister. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but from the look on Clara’s face, it was quite serious.
After a few minutes, Marie reappeared with Ellie trailing close behind. Ellie’s face was a mask of confusion as she looked from Clara to her mother, clearly taken aback by the unexpected visit. Marie led Ellie quickly to the car and soon they drove away.
I felt a pang of guilt watching Ellie's receding figure through the car's back window. She looked lost, her eyes wide with uncertainty. She turned back toward Clara’s house, and for a moment, I thought she saw me. I quickly stepped back into the shadows, hoping she hadn’t.
Later that night, I went in search of Jack. I found him sitting on his back porch, shoulders slumped in defeat. “What’s the matter?” I asked as I eased toward him.
He looked up and wiped tears from his eyes as he tucked something into his pocket. “She’s gone,” he said, lifting his gaze to the full moon. “Ellie’s gone.”
I sat beside him, feeling a mix of relief and regret. “I’m sorry, Jack. I know how much you liked her.”
“The worst part is I never even got to ask her to marry me.”
Seeing Jack this way, in utter despair, broke my heart. But at least he wasn’t engaged. That would have shattered my heart into a million irreparable pieces.
“Is there anything I can do?”
He shook his head. “There’s nothing anyone can do now.”
“Did she say why she left?” I knew it was terrible of me to ask, but I had to know.
Jack fumbled to retrieve the crumpled letter from his pocket and handed it to me. I stared at it, regret bubbling up inside me. When I finished reading, I didn't know what to say. I reached out and touched Jack's arm. He didn't pull away, but neither did he acknowledge my touch. It was as though I had become invisible to him.
“Maybe it’s for the best. I know it might be hard to see now, but in time you might feel differently.”
Jack looked at me then, and I could see the pain swimming in his tear-filled eyes. “For the best? God, Sara, you don’t get it, do you? Do you really think Ellie means so little to me that I could just move on?”
I flinched at his words, my heart aching for him and breaking at the same time. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant?—”
“You meant well, I know.” Jack cut me off, his lips pressed into a tight line. “But it's just… It's not that simple.”
I nodded, understanding even if I didn’t want to. I wished I could take his pain away, wished I could be the one to make him smile again. But as I sat there, a series of unsaid emotions dancing between us, I realized my feelings for Jack were far more profound than I had dared to admit initially. I loved him, I realized, with a love as vast and endless as the star-studded sky above us. And it was that quiet, painful acknowledgment that had me wishing that Ellie Spencer had never come into our lives.
I felt a swell of longing for simpler times, when the love I had for Jack was pure, before my heart was broken, before I resorted to treachery to get another chance at his heart.
This summer had changed me, and I wondered if things would ever be the same again.
13
Present
When I finished tellingthe story, Diane looked at me with a mixture of shock and understanding. I could tell she was searching for the right words, unsure of what to say.
“Wow,” she finally said. “That’s not what I was expecting.”
“I know. It wasn’t my finest moment, but it’s what happened.”
Diane took off her glasses and leaned back, clearing her throat. “I can’t say that I agree with what you did, but I understand why you did it. Love can make us do crazy things.”
The bitter laugh that escaped my lips seemed to surprise us both. “Crazy doesn’t even begin to cover it.” I stared into the fire, the flames dancing as memories of that summer played out in my mind. The betrayal, the secrets, and the lies. “I wish I could take it all back,” I whispered, more to myself than to Diane. “It’s the single biggest regret of my life.”
After Diane had scribbled a few notes on her pad, I heard the click of the recorder. “I think that’s enough for today.” Perhaps she sensed that I had delved as far into my past as I could handlefor one afternoon. Or maybe she saw the raw vulnerability in my eyes and decided it best not to push me further. Either way, the silence that followed was a welcome reprieve from the torment of my confession.
That evening, I ate alone. The food was flavorless, each bite a reminder of the emptiness growing inside me. I stared out the window at the setting sun, its fiery glow matching the flames I had poured my heart out to earlier. I thought about Diane and her quiet understanding. She was a good listener, but there was only so much she could do.
I barely noticed when Judy came to clear away the untouched food from my tray.