Sutton’s eyes shoot up in agitation. “Stop fucking talking about her, Slade.”
“Fine.” Slade holds up a hand in defense. “Suit yourself,but you know you should rip that bandaid off sooner than later.” He takes a sip of his beer and tips his chin to his brother. “But thanks again. I knew you’d come around eventually and I could count on you.”
“You didn’t really leave me much of a choice,” Sutton barks before his brother nonchalantly tosses him a set of keys. I’m sure they are for the apartment in Seattle. Sutton snatches them out of the air, but he might as well have just snatched the breath out of my lungs.
He’s selling Gloria’s and going to work for his brother in Seattle. We haven’t even signed a lease yet for me to officially rent the studio apartment from him.
What does this mean for me? What does it mean for us?
My self-conscious inner-bitch that I was just starting to get used to not hearing from laughs at me, snapping me out of my trance. I turn and head right for the gate, as if running away from this spot would remove me from this moment and this overwhelming sense of dread. I tried to do something for myself again. I wanted to trust Sutton. I wanted to take a risk and try to find the happiness I’ve never thought I deserved. Once again, it has blown up in my face.
I fling the gate open, not caring at all when it clatters behind me because I can already feel tears pricking the corner of my eyes. My fight or flight reaction kicks in, my body doesn’t hesitate to choose flight, and it takes on a mind of its own, desperate to get back to the motel. I turn the corner and start hurriedly walking down Silver Street, trying to stave off the tears I know are coming.
This bitch of a day has other plans though because I don’t even make it two blocks before I see Grace right as she walks out the front door of the bar. I try to lower my eyes, hoping she won’t see me but that’s a hopeless idea. It’s a small town, in the evening, and I’m the only other person on the sidewalk outin front of the bar. Grace spots me in no time, waving with a smile, as always.
My normal instincts kick back in and I put on my best vintage Kelsey face, cool and unbothered. When I reach her, I collect myself and try not to sound completely out of breath like I’ve been panic walking for the last few blocks. That’s harder than it sounds though because that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.
“Hey, just came out for some fresh air,” she says before peeking over my shoulder and quirking a curious brow at me. "Did you not find Sutton?”
“Oh, yeah. He was still talking with Slade back at the house. I’m heading back to the motel. My stomach’s bothering me and I just need to lay down I think. Maybe I’ll catch up with you guys later at the airport.” My voice is almost squeaky, even though it’s not a total lie because hearing Sutton did roil my nerves and my stomach. I also feel terrible for not telling Grace the whole truth. What am I going to tell her?Hey, my boyfriend is selling the house I just moved into and moving?She’s never been anything but nice to me, but I don’t want to dive into that. Right now, I just want to be alone.
“Do you need anything? I can run to the pharmacy or the store.” Her reaction is so genuinely concerned that it makes me feel even worse for not telling her the truth.
“No, don’t worry. I’ll be fine. I just think the last couple days are catching up to me.” I wave a hand dismissively.
She gives me a hesitant smile, but seems to accept that answer. “If anything changes, just text me.”
I nod. “Yeah. I will. Thanks, Grace.”
She rubs my shoulder. “Well, I’m going to head back inside and track down my husband. See you at the airport tomorrow. Hope you feel better before then.”
The doorto the motel room closes behind me and I slump against the wooden door, crumpling to the floor. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, just wanting to try and calm down. That’s easier said than done because the walk back to the motel felt like a sprint, partly because it almost was. As soon as Grace was out of sight, I raced back to our room.
Now I’m sitting here with my face buried in my hands trying to unravel what just happened. I take another steadying breath before looking around. It doesn’t feel like it was only earlier today that Sutton strutted across the room and made me giggle by just being that goofy man I’m so helplessly in love with. My eyes trail down to the foot of the bed and remember yesterday. The way his unstrained lust poured out when he looked down at me made me feel like I was the only thing in his world. Just thinking about that almost makes me want to turn around and go find him.
It’s what’s on top of the dresser that makes my stomach go queasy and my mind race again. I see his duffel bag sitting there. Thinking back on how often he travels either here or to Seattle, is that just the way he’s always going to be? Even before he came to Jackson, he’d traveled the world and worked at so many places. I know he’s been in Jackson longer than any of them, but does that really mean he would stop looking for the next opportunity? Am I stupid and naïve to think that he would have ever settled down?
A voice in the back of my head says I should calm down and wait to talk to him. That rational voice also says that what I just saw wasn’t the man I’ve fallen in love with.
I want to listen to that voice so desperately, but it’s the other voice I can’t escape—his own voice. I heard those words. He’s selling that house. He’s moving to Seattle. And he thinkswhat… I’d come visit him? Or worse, that I’d ever consider leaving Jackson?
My mind is a jumbled mess, but one thing is clear. I can’t process any of this in this room right now with all of these reminders clouding every thought. I pull myself up off the floor and spot the keys to the rental car on the nightstand.
Yes, a drive might be just what I need to clear my mind and actually try to sort out what the hell is going on.
CHAPTER 48
SUTTON
I walk fasterthan I normally would to The Hatch, because a cold beer with Kelsey is exactly what I need to calm my nerves. Honestly, I don’t even need the beer. I just need Kelsey—to see her and feel her in my arms.
I should have been there already if it hadn’t been for my unanticipated conversation with Slade. While it needed to be had, this shit show of a day was when I least expected it to happen. And as much as I hate to admit it, my fucking brother was right—I need to rip this bandaid off and talk with her. It might be good advice, it just doesn’t feel that way coming from him.
The flashing old neon sign comes into view, and a minute later, I’m inside of the old bar that will probably always feel like a tiny slice of home. It takes me all of ten seconds to spot Grace and TJ, or more accurately, hear them. In the back corner of the bar TJ, in true retired rockstar form, is showing off that famous vocal range busting out some nineties girl rock anthem at the karaoke machine. I grab a beer from the bar, putting it on TJ’s tab, and walk over to them. Leaning against the wall near the makeshift stage, I chuckle to myself, appreciatingtheir uncanny ability to find karaoke at even the most hole-in-the-wall bars.
When Grace and TJ finish up their song and look out into the small crowd gathered around them—most I recognize as guests from the wedding that didn’t happen—they spot me, and TJ makes his way over.
“Interesting song choice,” I say, tipping my beer.