He chuckles softly. ‘Yes, like that.’
‘Ah-hah! So youareproud of it!’
‘I’m proud of my work on it. I’ve never actually seen it.’
‘What?’ I ask with a laugh.
‘Why is that funny?’
‘Maybe because I’ve watched everything I’ve ever worked on. Have you seenanyof the movies you’ve done?’
‘A handful,’ he replies.
‘Is it an ego thing? You don’t want it to go to your head?’
‘Hmm, no. More of a… More of a what, Nick?’ he asks himself and I stay quiet, giving him the space to reply. Eventually, he looks at me. ‘It’s more that I prefer to look ahead – focus on what’s coming, rather than dwelling on what’s already happened.’
‘I get that,’ I say. ‘A lot of people get hung up on the glory days and they get stuck, you know – they can’t move forward.’
There’s so much going on behind Nick’s eyes, I’d need a month and a cipher key to make sense of it.
‘And what about you?’ he asks after a long moment.
‘What about me what?’
‘Do you dwell on the past or focus on the future? Workwise, I mean.’
‘I’d say both. My previous work informs what I do next. Like, say I’m watching an episode of TV from ten years ago – even if it’s a shitty episode of a shitty show – and I can identifyonegood decision I made, one moment of truth we captured because of me… I can take that and bring it to future projects.’
‘Fuck, you’re clever,’ he blurts, taking us both by surprise. ‘Sorry, that was…’
‘No, it’s cool.’
‘I only meant that you have this way of looking at things that’s… well, hopefulandpragmatic. I admire that.’
‘Thanks,’ I say, inflating with pride. ‘No one’s ever told me that before.’
Not even Nicholas. The thought buzzes in my brain like a mosquito and I swat it away. Nicholas is super supportive in his own way. He even saw the last movie I worked on, and he hates action adventures.
‘You’re right that a single moment can be a success, even if everything surrounding it is rubbish,’ Nick continues, pulling me back into the conversation.
‘So, youhaveexperienced that?’ I ask.
‘Once,’ he says, an amused glint in his eye.
‘OnDeadfall,’ we chorus together.
‘Which brings us full circle,’ he says, bouncing up and down on the sun lounger. ‘Hmm.’
‘Hard as a rock?’ I ask.
‘Not quite, but nearly – not sure I’d get much sleep.’ He grimaces, then rolls his right shoulder a few times.
‘Did you hurt yourself?’
‘A bit – it’s probably just bruised.’
‘On set?’