‘Can you not?Please.’
‘But—’
‘No, juststop. This was a big fucking mistake,’ she says, off pacing again. ‘We should never have…Ishould never have…’
‘Delaney, please…’
‘What?’ she demands, rounding on me. ‘You know, I’m a good, decent person and I came here to be with my boyfriend – who it turns out is really, really wrong for me and that’s fine – well, no, notfine, but now I get it and I don’t have to play the role of the pitiful long-distance girlfriend any more,’ she wails, throwing her arms out wide. ‘And thensomehow, the fates conspire or the stars align or whatever the fuck happened, and you’re here instead.’
Tears stream down her face and the urge to go to her is unbelievably strong, but she won’t want me to comfort her, so I stay rivetted to the spot, helpless to do anything more than listen.
‘And there aresomany green flags,’ she continues, her voice strained, ‘but also all these red flags, like youlyingabout missing your frigging wedding! And my heart aches for this woman,’ she says, her fists pounding on her chest, ‘this poor woman who I’ve never met, who I amsojealous of, it’s like an entity inside me and any moment now, it’ll burst out of my chest, all fangs and claws like inAlien. And all that stuff you said last night…’ She pauses to look me in the eye. ‘Oh my god, Nick,’ she gasps, clutching her chest, her palms flat, ‘no one has ever said anything like that to me before. I mean,fuck, it was like a line from a movie! It wasperfectionand, believe me, it had the desired effect. Butthen…?’ She shrugs dramatically. ‘Then it’s platitudes about it being wrong because of Pippa and Nicholas. And I have no idea if I’m angrier at you for putting the brakes on or at myself because you were right. Which makesmean asshole too. So here we are, two assholes – both of us in brain-dead relationships. Only I’ve been doing CPR on mine from day one and you’re happy to let yours hum along on life support. You couldn’twritea more fucked-up situation. I mean, everything is pointing to this being a bad idea.’
It hits me –hard. She’s calling this off. All of it.
‘Delaney, wait a mom?—’
‘You need to go –now.’
The finality of her words echoes across the balcony, rooting me to the spot. Tears gloss her eyes and her cheeks are tear-stained and flushed, but there’s nothing meek about the way she’s looking at me.
And it’s painfully,painfullyclear that I’ve completely cocked this up. Probably for good.
But she’s right about one thing. I need to go. I turn my back on her, scoop up my duffel, and leave, the sound of a single sob slicing straight through me as I close the door behind me.
23
DELANEY
The funny thing about telling someone to get out and them actually leaving is how quickly relief can turn into regret.
After a night crammed with fitful dreams, I wake with my face smushed into the pillow and a fuzzy head. Releasing a guttural groan, I flip onto my back, my gritty eyes struggling to focus on the ornate ceiling.
It’s as if my insides have been scooped out with a rusty melon baller, dumped on the ground, doused with gasoline, and set alight.
Today, I’m breaking up with Nicholas. And I’m on Capri alone.
Not exactly how I imagined the end of a romantic vacation in Italy.
I’m microseconds from submerging myself in a vat of self-pity when Nick’s face pops into my head, his pained expression a chastening spectre of yesterday’s fight. It will be a long time before I forget the hurt in his eyes.
If I ever do.
But it’s not like I said anything that wasn’t true – hehasmade some questionable choices. And what else was I supposed to do? It’s not like we could stay here forever, locked away in our Italian love nest, pretending the outside world and everyone in it didn’t exist.
He’s engaged and I have a boyfriend. Well, until I talk to Nicholas, that is.
I glance at my phone to check the time but the screen’s black. Great. I was so preoccupied last night, I forgot to plug it in. Might as well take a shower while it charges. And get coffee. And maybe squeeze in a quick call to Megan. I’m gonna need all the bolstering I can get.
I may want out of this relationship but like the song says, breaking up is hard to do.
I take my time in the shower – stalling – then head down to the little coffee shop near the funicular, drinking my latte at a table outside – also stalling. While I sip and mindlessly stare at the view, I call Megan, but she doesn’t answer. Not super surprising – it’s late back home – but this means I’ll have to givemyselfa pep talk.
Or I could channel my inner Megan. What would she say if she were here?
Laney, you deserve every happiness and you’re not gonna find it with Nicholas. He’s a dick and he has dicked you around long enough. Give the dick the flick.
Wow, inner Megan is brutal –anddick-obsessed.