“We’ve already discussed this, my dear. The longer it takes for you to accept your gift, the more your chances of saving Eldric and your daughter decrease.” With a snap of her fingers, the teacher wielded a thread of water, gracefully guiding it around them in a fluid dance before lifting it above their heads, where it dissipated into snowflakes, turning Alissa’s hair white.
“I thought I would have been capable of at least moving a pebble by now.”
“Mastering magic isn’t something that happens overnight, Alissa. It is extremely painful. It demands self-awareness and a connection with your body. Don’t expect to walk away from here in a few weeks as the greatest mage the world has ever seen. Our goal here is to help you grasp your power and wield it just enough to make a difference in your attempts to rescue Eldric and, with any luck, set Bryniard free from the curse.”
The first time Alissa saw Mrs. Ilden wield magic, she thought she was dreaming. Her magic, unlike the threads of Senectus Subita, did not glow. Instead, it was a pure manifestation of the elements bending to her will in ways Alissa had never imagined possible. Watching the woman control them was nothing short of magnificent. Alissa had seen her light a fire with her bare hands, create waves in a still river, lift a giant rock high above the ground, and even summon a small hurricane with only two fingers. The magnitude of her power was beyond Alissa’s comprehension, and the ease with which she did it was mind-blowing. It was a shame that such amazing power needed to be kept from the world.
She tried to be the perfect apprentice, reading every book on magic that her teacher brought and practicing the techniques to summon it daily. She carefully replicated all of her master’s instructions. Frustrated with her inability to control water or conjure fire, she moved on to theZeitypower and attempted to heal a self-inflicted cut on her forearm. Once again, the dormant power within her veins remained asleep; it must’ve been quite a comfortable place to stay hidden if the magic simply refused to awaken despite all her efforts.
She wished Freyah were there, with her optimism and lightness, to ease the burden as she used to whenever she was around.
As for the cave where she hid in the middle of the Unclaimed River, it was the ideal place to practice without fear of being seen by anyone from Golheim. Not that her magic would draw their attention, as it had yet to even acknowledge her.
Even through all the frustration that had come along with trying and failing many times over, the practice had become the perfect distraction to keep her mind and heart away from thoughts of Freyah and Eldric. Though rare, there were moments when she was not entirely consumed by grief, and even the briefest relief was a blessing.
“I have been doing exactly as you’ve shown me,” Alissa said, snapping her fingers and glancing at the cut on her forearm. But instead of healing, the wound bled more profusely.
“Magic doesn’t work the same for every mage, dear,” Mrs. Ilden explained. “The source of my power and the way I access it are different from how yours will be. I can channel it through my fingers, but other mages in the past have had magic that responded to voice commands, emotions, touch, or blood, for example. That’s why meditation is crucial for understanding your magic. It’s not just about taming your power but alsounderstanding its characteristics, where it resides in your body, and how to summon it.”
“Ihavebeen meditating.” Alissa sat on the ground, biting her cheeks as she stared at the river ahead.
“Have you really?” The teacher’s eyebrows shot up skeptically. “Because I see you close your eyes, but I know your mind is elsewhere.”
Her cheeks flushed red. Alissa could not deny that whenever she closed her eyes, the memory of Freyah’s murderer and Eldric’s captivity replayed vividly in her mind. When they were not around, it was Dhalia and the glowing threads floating around her tiny figure. She drew her fingers to rub her eyes, holding the bridge of her nose as she drew a deep breath.
Mrs. Ilden placed her hand on Alissa’s shoulder. “I know it’s difficult, dear. But if you want this to work, you need to commit fully and give one hundred percent of your mind’s potential. The only way to awaken your magic is to delve within yourself and truly understand who you are and what you’re made of.”
“To understand who I am.”She chuckled, shaking her head.
It seemed almost impossible to truly know herself now, given how many tragedies had continuously reshaped her, evolving into something she wasn’t sure was a better version. Those words felt meaningless when her own body seemed so ordinary compared to the incredible power she had witnessed.
“I’ll keep trying,” she murmured with resolve.
“And I’ll be here for you until you can either make a slight breeze or heal this little cut of yours.”
81 DAYS UNTIL DHALIA’S DEATH DATE.
In the first week at the Unclaimed River, the cave that hid Alissa from her enemies had become her favorite place in the world. It was just recently that she had started to find more comfort with the sun that burned the top of her head and the wind that formed knots in her hair. She had been sitting outside for so long that her legs started to feel numb, and sweat dripped down her forehead into her hands.
Alissa cursed, cleaning her palms with the fabric of her shirt, afraid it could somehow get in the way of healing yet another self-inflicted cut she tried to heal with her supposed magic. The wounds on her forearm from her previous attempts had already started to heal and scab over. It had been two weeks since she had started practicing. Alissa had tried and failed so many times that it was not the power ofZeityhealing her arms as she had expected, but the power of actual time passing, marking her skin with all her failures.
She would not give up. The time for denial was gone. Alissa would embrace the magic sleeping inside her even when she had no proof it existed, only because it would be her daughter’s salvation.
A guttural scream ended her stupor. The pain was so excruciating that Alissa fell on her knees, gasping for breath. She couldn’t tell whether the dampness in her face came from sweat or her watering eyes. Yet she could hear the teacher’s rushed steps growing louder as she approached.
“Alissa!” Mrs. Ilden yelled.
The agony was such that Alissa was incapable of answering. She didn’t have to; the teacher was a mage herself, and she knew how it felt to fight the power-craving to take over. The feeling, unlike any other, of sharp nails rasping against her brain, tryingto dig deeper than she could ever allow it to go. The magic fought to take control, to be let out with no restraints, no limits. To present itself in its rawest, most mighty form, without any consideration of the destruction it could wreak behind.
The teacher held Alissa’s face in her hands. “Resist it, Alissa. You must not let it in!”
“I can’t!” she roared, the pressure inside her head growing by the second.
“Yes, you can.” Mrs. Ilden’s voice was firm. “Your magic only exists if you do, Alissa. It may not seem this way, as it clings to your mind in unbearable pain. But your magic is not in control. You are.” The teacher pulled her up and shook her shoulders as she had done when Alissa had shown up at her house, overcome by grief. “Fight this power with the same strength you have been fighting for your daughter!”
And so she did. Alissa shut her eyes, diving into her mind. She could almost see the claws opening their way through her brain. She imagined pulling them away, and she held on to that thought with all of her willpower. The magic fought back, but she pressed forward. Her body trembled from the effort, taking her to the limit. How long could she take it without succumbing?
Suddenly, the pain subsided. She still felt the presence of the claws, as if they were a newfound part of her. They no longer tried to find a way through her consciousness. Now, they touched her mind with a grace and subtlety she would never have believed could come from the same entity.