“I will surrender my own life then. It is decided,” Alissa stated, determined.
“That will not suffice, dear. Taking your own life would not have the same effect as sacrificing a loved one. Not in bringing back the order of things.”
“Wouldn’t she be breaking the Magic Edictum by killing someone else?” Freyah asked.
“Not in this case because she would be, in fact, reversing a mistake of the past.”
“That doesn’t make any sense!” Alissa yelled in desperation.
“It doesn’t have to make sense, dear. Magic rarely does.”
After a while sitting in silence, Mrs. Ilden began explaining everything her family had uncovered about the curse and how they could supposedly break it. She wrote down each word meticulously in handwriting that Alissa wasn’t sure she would be able to comprehend.
Alissa watched everything in complete numbness. She glanced at her friends. Behind their focused, determined gazes, she knew they were as horrified as she was. She had thought finding all the answers she had been looking for would bring some sense of relief. Alissa could never have imagined that the truth would bring her more panic than anything else.
Chapter 30
Not Everything is What It Seems
Plums filled the tree in her garden in a beautiful display of purple, red, and green of the leaves. The last time Desi had seen this tree was when she planted its seed years ago, before ever leaving her home. She picked the fruits one by one, filling a basket of plums to make pie for her children. The simple act stirred a painful reminder of how much she had missed while being away. The tree had grown without her. Flourished, bloomed, and bore fruit. She hadn’t watered it, hadn’t cared for it, hadn’t been there at all, just like she hadn’t for her family. And at that moment, standing beneath its laden branches, she couldn’t help but feel the same distance from her loved ones, a painful detachment from the life that had grown and thrived without her.
Being reunited with her family for the first time was bittersweet. It was everything she had dreamed of and a complete nightmare all at once. When she arrived home, her children didn’t recognize her. They didn’t run to her arms, crying out how much they missed her, how much they loved her, as she had expected. They were indifferent to her instead. She saw them flinch when she tried to hold them, and it stung deep in her soul. In that moment, she realized that indifference fromthe people who meant the world to her hurt far more than the years she had spent away from them ever did.
She couldn’t blame her kids. They thought she had abandoned them, and wasn’t that exactly what she had done?
Her children had changed so much since she left. It wasn’t only their height or the way their faces had grown sharper with time. Desi missed out on so much of what made them who they were; the essence at their core had become unrecognizable. Being away for four years, she knew she held no part in shaping their character and moral values. They had grown up, and the innocence she once loved was replaced by a maturity that only children forced to grow up without their mother could possess. Their once loud and vibrant personalities had faded into quiet shadows of who they used to be.
Her husband seemed to be the only one untouched by time. When his eyes first settled on her, he sobbed uncontrollably, the depth of his love laid bare. The void she left had been a constant torture for him, and though their love still burned strong, something had changed. It was as if they were dancing to different rhythms now; the harmony they had shared was disrupted by everything that happened during their time apart.
Not even her home felt the same. The walls seemed to have taken on a different shade of gray, the objects were all misplaced, and the familiar scent of lavender was gone—despite her husband’s insistence that nothing had changed since she left. Her belongings were nowhere to be found, as if every trace of her had been quietly erased. It was as though life had continued without her, leaving her trapped in a wretched existence, clinging to the dream of one day returning.
Day by day, Desi readjusted to this new routine, to their presence. Her children gradually showed signs of affection, and being with her husband began to remind her of the beginning of their relationship. Each day, she fought to smooth her edges,inching closer to fitting back into the piece of the puzzle she once was, hoping that everything could return to normal.
That was, until she would have to go back to Nyfrel, and all the great moments they were sharing, all the improvements she had made, would be lost. Again.
Desi recognized that her family weren’t the only ones who had changed. On the contrary, she was the one who had changed the most. The altruistic side of her personality had nearly vanished, and a more self-centered nature was gradually taking over.
She wasn’t proud of lying with another man for all those years when her husband remained faithful to her in her absence. Desi wasn’t proud of how the principle of helping others, which had initially brought her to becoming a healer, had come to mean nothing to her anymore, or that the foundation of honor and ethics in which she was raised had been lost along the way. And most importantly, she was not proud of what she did to Ronin.
The foxglove potion had been prepared only as a precautionary measure. She didn’t expect she would actually have to use it on anyone, especially not Ronin, but he left her no other choice. The moment he threatened her reunion with her family, she couldn’t let him leave that place alive, as Eldric had suggested. She believed if Ronin was given the chance, he would come after her and deliver her to the Crown for abandoning her post in Nyfrel, and if he didn’t, he would keep close watch on her back in the city, and she would never have the chance of setting foot in Golheim again.
She had to do it, and that was why she didn’t regret it. The one thing that proved at least some part of her old values still burned inside her was that the memory of him and his end occasionally brought a knot to her chest.
She headed back inside, her arms and lower back aching from the weight of the plum-filled basket. With her hands busy, she nudged the kitchen door open with her hips, quickly moving to the counter to set down the basket. The corner of her vision captured a shadowed figure, and that was when she noticed the man leaning casually against the doorframe.
The stranger was clad in full armor, a crimson cloak draped over his shoulders, a sword sheathed on his back. Desi’s heart raced. Incapable of keeping hold of her heavy basket, she dropped it with a gasp, her hand instinctively reaching for a knife resting by the sink.
“Do you really believe a knife would stop an Iron Claw, Mrs. Linard?” Ranier asked, his arms crossed over his chest, his right foot propped casually against the wall behind him.
She released the knife, her breath coming in rapid breaths. “What do you want?” she asked, her voice steadying as she moved to sit at the kitchen table. She gestured for the bearded man to join her, her eyes never leaving his.
“You should mind your tongue. The last person who spoke to an Iron Claw general that way lost more than one limb. Especially in your situation.”
Desi’s fingers twitched toward the basket of plums, her eyes flickering with a mix of defiance and apprehension. “And what exactly are you implying, sir?” She tried to keep her voice steady despite the tension.
“Well, I half-expected to find you bound to a chair, gagged and battered, and dozens of weapons pointed at you,” Ranier said, idly spinning a dagger in his fingers. “Instead, here you are collecting plums.” His smile was vicious. “Apparently, these captors of yours are more merciful than I have assumed.”
Ranier had been prepared to torture the woman for answers, but noting the shift in her expression, the unease her posture revealed before her words could, he saw an opportunity toexploit her vulnerability in a more clever way. The general decided he wouldn’t let that opportunity slip away.