She moved her hand to his cheek. “You mean the same way we decided to trust each other?”
He stared back at her with no comebacks. How could he demand that Alissa be cautious about trusting the woman who had healed her from a terrible disease, when only a few days back, he had been insisting that she open up to him?
Eldric didn’t know what else to say, so he sighed in defeat and cradled her face in his hands to kiss her forehead. The gentle touch made her heart skip a beat, leaving her breathless.
“At least if she comes, we’ll have someone to handle your injury. I have to admit… her instructions back there were very confusing to me.”
Alissa hung her head back in laughter. “And here you were pretending to know everything there is to know about this magical researcher thing, weren’t you?”
Eldric did know a lot about the subject, but instead of correcting her, he shrugged. “It was a failed attempt to impress you.”
Alissa glanced up at him, noting how the teasing tone in his voice contrasted with the seriousness in his eyes. “It might not have completely failed,” she whispered, giving him a playful wink before stepping out of his embrace and limping toward where Desi and Freyah were talking.
“So, what do you say, Desi?” Freyah asked, hopeful. They had become notably closer since the healing lessons.
“Thank you for the kind offer, but I shouldn’t.” Leaving her post imposed by the Crown wasn’t a decision Desi should take lightly. The consequences could be fatal.
“You can think about it. We’re leaving tomorrow.” Alissa lay down on the cot again, exhausted. “Besides, Eldric will be there to handle my treatment in your absence…”
The sound of his laughter, trapped in his throat, brought an instant smile to her lips.
Desi had been dwelling on Alissa’s invitation to join them on their way to Golheim for hours. This was also the reason she couldn’t fall asleep. Not even the chamomile tea she usually resorted to or the breathing exercises that helped her fall asleep at night when her mind couldn’t shut down were working.
Of course they wouldn’t work. She had been a fool to think that a stupid cup of tea would keep her insomnia away when this had been the first time she’d had even the slightest opportunity to see her children again. After four whole years feeling like her heart had to fight for its every beat, years of living a miserable existence where only fragments of herself remained, she couldtake a little taste of what her life used to be—even if only for a little while.
“We have an extra seat on our carriage if you’d like to come to Golheim with us. To see your kids,”Alissa had said.
If only it were that easy. If only she could hop on that carriage and leave to see her children. It would be a dream come true.
Desi was well aware of the complications that could arise from her departure; the Crown had mandated that she remain in Nyfrel until she could pay off her father’s debt, a debt she was not even close to paying. She used to believe that with time and hard work, she would eventually see herself free from this nightmare, but four years later, she only saw her debt grow as the Crown increased interest rates, keeping her a hostage to her own liability.
For her, the monstrous debt she held in her name was equivalent to climbing the highest mountain of the kingdom in heavy winter. No matter how hard you try climbing it and how long it has taken to find yourself halfway through the top, in the most inconvenient of times, when you’re feeling hopeful of your success, the heavy winds and snow will make it impossible for you to move forward. They will bring you back to where you first started more times than one can endure.
Desi had completely lost perspective. She saw her hopes of seeing her children again fade day by day. Alissa’s invitation, however, lit up a spark of hope that had long been extinguished. She got up from her bed, sick of staring blankly at the ceiling, giving up on any expectation she had of sleeping that night.
The healer grabbed a small calendar she had in her room and started to flick through the pages to the date she had circled in chalk months before. The room was so dark she couldn’t find the circle she was so desperate to find. She picked up a candle, bringing it closer to the calendar to read the dates more clearly, careful not to let the candle’s flame burn the pages.
There it was, marking a date two months back. She took a deep breath, thinking.
It’d been two months since Ronin, the Royal Guard designated to check on Desi from time to time, had come to the city. Of course, Ronin didn’t come to check on her out of the kindness of his heart. It was his duty to come by Nyfrel unannounced to verify she hadn’t left the city, to confirm she was compliant with her agreement with the Crown, and collect her debt and taxes. Although he always came by unexpectedly, Desi noticed a pattern in his visits as she flicked through the calendars from past years. She realized Ronin had never shown up within five months of the previous visit.
Interesting.
The healer started pacing through the room, her heart beating faster as ideas raced through her mind, her hands brushing her jaw. Assuming the guard would come back in about three months, if Desi left with the trio, she would still have time to spend weeks with her family and then come back to the city before Ronin’s next visit.
She had been concerned about the possibility of traveling with fugitives. Desi had known they were wanted from the moment they burst into her medical tent covered in blood. She had known it because she had stared at the posters with their faces on for weeks before they showed up in the flesh. She didn’t know what caused them to find themselves in such predicaments, whose blood they wore on them the day Alissa was stabbed, or why they were heading to the capital. She didn’t care, to be honest. She felt unusually comfortable in their presence, and that was all that mattered.
The more she considered it, the more appealing the idea of traveling with fugitives became. Their caution and use of disguises would be invaluable to her. Desi, too, would need to move carefully and remain unnoticed to avoid recognition inthe capital. After all, leaving Nyfrel against the Crown’s orders would make her a fugitive as well. It was still risky; Ronin could show up while she was gone, and if he did, she would be sentenced to death.
Is it worth the risk?
The image of her children in her arms again was enough for her to know deep in her soul what the answer to that question was.
Her hands rested on her chest, feeling her racing heartbeats as the fear of what was to come rose within her. Doubts about her decision poisoned her subconscious, yet she knew she wouldn’t regret it if it meant seeing them again.
Desi didn’t realize it at the time, but she had just made a decision that would change everything.
“When did you have time to do all this?” Freyah asked Eldric as the three of them loaded the carriage, amazed by all the changes he had made to it in such a short amount of time.