She begins settling in, staring down at the paper in front of her, and doesn’t say anything else.
Once the silence has reached an uncomfortable level, I ask, “How was your break?”
“Fine,” Cassi says, turning to me. “You?”
“It was… interesting.”
Interesting. That’s a choice word. I feel like I’m starting to forget what life looked like before break started. Everything was different. Was it, though? Or did I make one huge mistake that turned into unresolved feelings I never got a chance to process, and now I’m sitting here trying to process them, but they’re unrequited, so it’s best that I suffer in silence, even though he knows how I feel about him and I swear he at least used to feel the same way about me but won’t let himself admit it.
Phew.
Talk about an anxiety-fueled run-on sentence.
Cassi lifts a questioning brow, like she’s trying to see if I’ll elaborate. Fat chance of that. Maybe if things had gone differently… but no. I’m embarrassed, humiliated and ashamed that I’m lusting after my adopted brother and he doesn’t even want me back. Forever that pathetic girl who doesn’t belong—the one that gets the door slammed in her face. I’m an idiot, and I’d rather carry that shame in private.
Hoping to move the topic all the way off me, I face Cassi fully. “Are you still…? ”
Her expression transforms into something dark.
“Sleeping with my sister’s boyfriend? Yeah, I am,” she snaps. “That’s what you really wanted to know, right? You want to bitch me out? Tell me what a horrible person I am some more? Go ahead, I’m ready for it,” Cassi says, spreading her arms out as if to welcome my verbal blows.
Clearly, this isn’t the time or place for this discussion as the class is growing fuller every second. So I shake my head and sigh, turning my attention to the syllabus agreement in front of me. I begin filling it out as Ari comes rushing into the room.
She quickly slips between Cassi and I, something I’m kinda grateful for.
“Dude, you live right across the street,” Cassi scoffs. “How can you be the last person here?”
Ari looks around nervously and keeps her voice low. “Um, yeah. So I’m kind of not living there anymore.”
“What do you mean?” I whisper.
Arianna licks her lips as her eyes move from Cassi’s to mine. “I moved.”
“Where?” Cassi asks.
“Now that everyone has finally joined us, we can get started,” the professor says, shooting a pointed look at Arianna.
After the lecture, Arianna fills us in on what’s been going on. She didn’t hook up with just anyone at the club—she hooked up with her ex-stepdad. It was by accident at first, but then he followed her to her family’s annual cabin trip and… now they’re living together.
Shocked is the tamest word you could use for how Cassi and I both feel.
Honestly, I’m completely taken back. In a city filled with nearly a million people and an endless number of tourists, how is it possible that three of us can walk into a masked sex club, mess with three random strangers and somehow each ofthose strangers are some of the most inappropriate relationships possible?
Ari and her ex-stepdad.
Cassi and her sister’s boyfriend.
Me and my brother.
What kind of fucked-up game is this, and why did we get picked as the unfortunate winners?
It’s worse than just an accidental hookup. He and Ari are living together, so they’re getting full-on serious, while Cassi has become a playboy’s sidepiece, sneaking off to the other side of the country to drop her panties.
And me… I’m… Well, I guess nothing has really happened since that night. That moment in the driveway was one-sided, which means any inappropriate relations started and ended inside that club. Is it pathetic that I’m kind of jealous of my friends? I’m upset that despite how wrong it is, they seem… happy. Meanwhile, I’m over here, sullen and bitter. Why is that? Well, I think Cassi unfortunately might be on to something. I think this whole virginity thing is starting to eat away at my soul.
Finally, Cassi tells Ari we’re happy for her, and I make sure my expression says I agree, though neither of them look totally convinced.
Then Ari turns the conversation round to us. “Whatever happened with you two that night?”