A small part of me is afraid Cassi is right. Maybe I am so uptight, so miserable all the time because I keep myself locked away. Well, tonight, things will be different. Fuck it.
Chapter Ten
Naomi
My heels are high, my lips are painted red, and my legs are shaved and oiled to the point they practically slip against each other as I walk the streets of Seattle. In hindsight, maybe I should have found someone to come with me—Capitol Hill isn’t exactly the safest area. Then again, even on a weeknight, there are tons of people going in and out of bars and nightclubs. I’m sure I’ll be fine.
I haven’t gone out much, at least not by myself, so I don’t know where the best places are. Part of me even contemplated going back to the sex club, but I quickly put that thought out of my head. Tonight is about empowerment. If I meet someone and they’re hot and we end up sleeping together… well, I’m not saying no. I’m also not going out in search of it either.
Finally, I stop at a club that has some familiar dance music playing. There—decision made. If the place sucks, at least the music won’t.
I walk over to join the line, but a moment later, the doorman waves me over to him. Frowning, I slowly step out of the queue and obey. I don’t know why I’m nervous—it’s not like I’ve done anything wrong. I got in the correct line, right? Is he going to tell me I’m not dressed appropriately, or maybe they’re at capacityand I shouldn’t bother waiting. I really wish every moment of my life didn’t send me into a spiraling meltdown, but here we are.
When I reach the man, I begin twirling the handle of my purse nervously. “Is everything okay?” I ask.
He nods. “ID?”
I hesitate for a moment before pulling out my driver’s license. He looks at it quickly then steps to the side.
“Come on in.”
I look back at the long line of people who are now glaring at me. I’ve never been that person who cuts lines or even thinks they’re good-looking enough to do so. How embarrassing would that be if you got called out for it and sent to the back of the line? Nope, no way. Couldn’t be me. I’d crawl into the dumpster round the corner before I did that.
I look back at the bouncer, who still has his arm extended, his patience clearly waning, then decide to step through.
Instantly, I’m immersed in a dark hallway which then breaks through to a room filled with bright flashing lights. There’s a live band on stage and people dancing everywhere.
This is why it’s helpful to go out with friends—you never feel awkward or out of place with them. But when you’re by yourself, everyone’s eyes come to you, almost like you have the word “loser” stamped across your forehead. Okay, that’s probably just my insecurity coming out, but that’s how it feels as I carefully move through the crowd towards the bar.
“What can I get ya?” the bartender shouts over the beat.
“Um, vodka tonic?”
He nods, grabs a bottle of vodka from behind him and quickly mixes the drink.
“Want to keep it open?” he asks as I hand him my card.
I look around the place. Despite feeling a little uneasy that I’m alone, I’m starting to get used to it.
“Yes please.”
He nods, swipes it then hands it back to me, along with my drink.
I take a sip and wince as the alcohol singes the back of my throat. No pain, no gain, right? Technically, I think that saying is about working out, but I think mustering as much liquid courage as possible should count too.
I throw the rest of the drink back, cringing again at the burn, then catch the bartender’s attention as I set my glass on the bar.
“Another please.”
He nods and pours me another as someone drops a card on the counter beside me. A man with a bright white smile, blue eyes and dirty blonde hair smiles down at me before talking to the bartender.
“Put it on my tab, Nicky. I’ll do a double shot of Pendleton.”
“You got it,” the bartender says to the guy, who’s already back to smiling at me.
“I’m Brett,” he says, holding out his hand for me to shake.
I look down at it for a moment, and I can feel myself shrinking back. Why, though? He’s handsome, showing interest in me and seems nice so far. Isn’t this the exact reason I came out tonight? To get out there, get some experience? In this case, that means not running away the instant a good-looking guy looks my way.